Was walkin by this bird shop near my cafe this noon.
Saw a bunch of 老伯伯 mixin around, loud chattin.
A sudden thought struck me..

Why are these uncles, even called 'bird lovers' ?

Watchin cages full of birds that can't fly,
Only endless flappin, hopin to escape from their torment.
What do these uncles really enjoy?
Have they too, lost their wings, long forgotten the sky they once belonged?

What a twisted world..

Same goes for people around me.
Someone, heavily in debt, is goin for a holiday.
After draggin everybody in, he still gets to enjoy.
While someone else is workin his ass off for their mom's future.
Ha..

I really don't blame him for bettin, you know.
It was his rottin soul, that pissed me off.
Blamin things like luck, heaven, 命.
But never himself..

Well, life still goes on.

I miss my past.
No doubt i have ever been tellin everyone else,
To look forward and live with no regrets.
But still..

Where was my die hard gang who used to hang around daily?
Where was the attention i used to get, in school and out?
Where was my happy life, when everyday was like a dream?
Where was the smile..

But ya, i can never turn back time.
So, forward, i shall.

Doesn't it ticks you off sometimes?
When you cared so much for your friends,
Yet they simply don't have you in heart?
And those whom you are tryin so hard to mingle with,
Carried on with their life without stoppin by?

Joe is back.
Its really funny how it feels.
Even though he was @ aussie.
Even though we haven't been hangin out much.
But he should be the closest person on this earth,
Who understands me most.
Perhaps its due to the days difference in our bdays.
If only he's a girl, ya?
HA.

Recently i got pretty inspired.
Have been readin Anntonii's stories.
Feel like takin up my pen once more.
Since i used to write alot as well.
My dreams.
My thoughts.
My own stories.

So don't be surprised, if you see a link someday.

So much more to write, so little time.
Just packed up, needa bath.
Shall get my well deserved rest.

I miss you all, my friends.

Ciao.

6pm soon.
Rainy blues.

Maidou had a question some time back which really got me thinkin. When i needed someone, who can i call 4am at night?

A tricky question indeed.

Perhaps Bryan or SK, provided they can be awaken, still i rather not disturb them. Most prob i'll be online searchin for non-sleepin souls instead. But if i really am to call someone, think i have a few in mind..

Some dear pals do call me @ wee hours sometimes. Lackin a few hours of dreams is no big deal i guess. @ least it shows they can confide in me. Dear cousy always call me @ late nights too laa. When i was still with my ex, her calls always got her so fedup lol. Those were the nights..

To me, someone to confide in, it means a soulmate? Like someone to chat anythin under the moon with. There will be no secrets, no lies. "Seems like most people mistook 'soulmate' for lifelong partner" says Maidou. Its true to a certain extent, i guess. Who doesn't wish they can chat heartily bout life with their Significant Other. It aren't easy to be similar..

So what bout good buddies? Bryan and SK are gonna be my great pals for life. Even so, we don't hang out much. We just know, if there are problems, we'll definitely be there to help each other out. Ray too, always there for me, though i'm not sure if i'm considered his. I'm pretty sure he has his own group of buddies..

There are some really sweet friends too? Like Jwen. She brought her whole family to my shop, all the way from pasir ris! Thats really duper sweet you know? I'm ultra-easily touched and thats really touchin. If we are able to communicate better, i'm sure we'll really make great pals..

Not to mention names, but there are some who live as near as nearby, and never bother supportin. Guess it shows ya. Not even my own ex supported me when we were still together. It really shows how much she loved me too. Perhaps everybody's busy with their own lives, especially after passin the mid 20s. Perhaps some people just dislike such situations. But you know, if a friend of mine ever gonna set up their own biz, i'll definitely support. Somehow and another ya..

"That is what friends are for"
Quoted from Miss Wu, when she offered help durin my lowest periods.

Gonna start preparin food for the night.
Shop is bein reserved for a lunch event tml.
Another reservation made for thursday evenin as well.
Its gonna be busy.

Some lyrics for you, from the song on this blog.

整个世界 停止 不转动 很寂寞
走在海边 数着 萤火虫 好困惑
想要的生活 怎么有一百种
不想掉进这深深 漩涡

整个海洋 摆动 柔软的 举起我
孤单给我 自由 犹豫得 好感动
想要的生活 怎么有一百种
该怎么走 谁来告诉我?

wow~

每当我背对星空
抱着地球
发现自己其实脆弱 不敢说

当我背着星空
孤独摸索
爱情渐渐萎缩 我猜不透

无边的宇宙 哪里有我想要的生活

*Repeat from 2nd para

我那一百种 要在很久很久以后才会懂
我一百种生活

Test, test.

Seems like my attempt of revivin my blog, is a big success. Last post was Jan 07, ages ago. Gosh, it shows how busy with life i was. Time to escape from reality once more..

Btw, i made the background picture myself.
Its still 1 of my fav movies, Serendipity.

Well, i'm still pretty much the same? Followin the stint at Starhub, i joined OCBC Bank as their relationship officer. Didn't last long enough though, for there was the place i met some of the darker sides of life. Backstabbin, office politics, jealousy, selfishness, betrayal. It was that bad..

Recently established a little steamboat cafe along Bukit Merah straits. 3 months into biz, i'm still copin. It wasn't easy. All the plannin, budget, marketin, especially food as i wasn't experienced in f&b. But nothin beats the 1st step out. Many thanks to my most admirable partner, Ray. He was the one who showed me the other side of the world, which i have always yearned for. He is really capable both in work and life, which i still have lotsa to learn from. Am really glad to have met him..

Let me guess, many who hasn't heard, will be be interested in my love life?

1606 was our anni
2306 was my bday
2406 was the breakup

Need me to say more?

Things just didn't work, i guess. The more chances i gave, the more disappointments i got. Thus, i gave up. Alot of things she did that wasn't acceptable i took it with open heart, but patience ran out in the end. Which guy can stand her girl flirtin around anyway..

Thats all i'll say.
Aren't any good of me to talk bad bout her.

Love has always been so complicated for me, as quoted from Vernice. 1st ex forced to marry another guy. I was indirectly the 3rd party in my 2nd ex's life. And now, my last ex, who is a divorced mom with 5yo son, flirted with other guys, not respectin our r.s at all. Can't fate just bring me a simpler love? Why is 3rd party always involved in my life? Geez..

I have a very simple theory.

When one is madly in love, he/she will do anythin for you.
When one wasn't able, then perhaps he/she only love you that much.

I still believe in true love, i guess.
Fate too..

3am, its almost time for bed. Been stayin in shop nowadays, away from the comfort of family and her. All the daily cold baths and lonely nights, they are only goin to make me stronger. Shall keep learnin to be a better man..

Ciao.

Sorry ah..

Haven't been updatin for quite long. Didn't have the feelin. Goin through a kinda rocky period..

Yup i've tendered from StarHub, my last day were 10th Jan. Its been almost 20days and yet i'm still slackin at home. Can't brin myself to find the next job, keep givin myself silly excuses like 'CNY is comin' and 'still have savins to last me few months' etc. Useless me..

So what have i been doin?

Nothin much. Been stayin home nursin my ulcers. I've been really very heaty nowadays, even pimples came. Perhaps thats part of the reason why i'm stayin home lol. The weather too, i rather stay home than get wet..

Been workin out! Started my 100 pushups and 250 situps per day. Dumb bells too, tryin to get into shape again. May i get back my figure durin poly days *hopefully* ^^"

Nothin much to update i'm still the same old me. New song for you. Its called 好心好报.

Ciao.

Have been sick for days..

Were so sick after xmas eve i spent the last few days in bed. Saw the doc, told me i'm havin flu and throat infection, threw me antibiotics and lotsa pills to swallow. Been chewin on those, only to make myself so weak and drowsy. So, conclusion, after 2 days OFF and 2 days MC, i'm still sick! =/

Biao mei have been so nice to me. Knowin i'm sick and home alone, she came over the other day and we cooked dinner together. We've been playin monopoly too! Haha our results now is 1 Win 1 Lose! I'm so reminded of our younger days when me and cousins were always together. I so adore my biao mei lor. I wish she'll be happy and fine for life..

Very sweet of those who were concerned bout me the last few days. Really appreciate all the care from you all. What can i do without you friends? Thanks! ^^

Liv's dad passed away.. I pray she'll be strong and fine..

Ciao.

24th Dec.
Xmas Eve.
9:52pm.

I'm sick.
I'm tired.
I'm still in my office.

Workin till 11 tonight.
Not going any parties.
Not celebratin with friends.

I'll be alone tonight.

"How did i spent xmas years back?" i wondered.

2005 was a festival of break ups. 7 friends of mine ditched or got ditched by their jerks durin that period. So apparently i was way very busy that time, recalled havin dinner somewhere and didn't really countdown that night. I bet few of you still remember, especially if you are 1 of them =P

2004 wasn't better. Broke up with inin at Oct. Went to a friend's chalet, drank too much, and got wasted. But i remembered Cherie came down to meet me at downtown east, very sweet of her. I wonder if she reads my blog.

2003, if i'm not wrong, i went clubbin with my OETI peeps. Xx joined me and my army friends as her jerk was away in taiwan that time. Drank alot, danced alot, the usual clubbin scenes you'll see. Thats bout it.

Can't really remember the rest..

Been thinkin too much recently. Haven't been restin much. Couldn't catch a wink. Dark rings startin to appear. Pimples too. Gettin fairer and fairer. Think i goner look like drug addicts soon.

I tend to picture things too perfectly each time. Hopin for this, hopin for that. Its really very tiring. But isn't it really nice and sweet, if someone come to my workplace right now, asked me down to the lobby, surprise me with my xmas gift, plus a hug and kiss?

Well, i'm not really referrin to anybody.
Maybe it just struck my mind.

Messy Xmas everybody`

Xmas is near.

So?

Few weeks back i thought its goner be a beautiful blissful 25th. Who could have predicted that things will turn out to be the way it is? But i was too naive and rather believin in fairytales, can't really blame anyone else..

Anyway.. Bad news to my dear friends.. I havent did any xmas shoppin yet.. LOL..

Ho Ho Ho`

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There are many kinds of 'friends' in this world.

Some will accompany you till the end of the world. Some can't even stand 5 mins of your presence. Some can have all the fun in the world with you, but can't stand you the moment you cry. Some can share with you all your sorrow, but other than whinin there's absolutely nothin else. The list goes on and on and on..

The kind of friend i admire the most, is not someone who can be with you through all the thick and thin. Nor does he/she have to hear me whine all the time, or share my joy. Definitely doesn't have to be physically with me, doesn't have to be someone who hangs out with me all the time.

What i really yearn for, is a friend, who can 心谈心.

What do i mean by that? Someone whom i can talk heart to heart with. 3 very simple chinese words, yet its the most difficult to come by. Its really very rare to find someone in your life who can really understands you well. Fate ba?

I'm really fortunate to have all you nice friends around. All your encouragements, all your care, they make me go on. Thanks.

Ciao.

范逸臣 - 在这里分手

你的眼神渐渐地空洞
笑容僵得如此冰冻
你什么都不说
明明曾经那样深爱
为什么无法停止一再伤害
也许是习惯太久
于是我们忘记温柔
如果散能好过现在
或许该选择要笑着离开

让我们在这里分手
在还来得及的时候
别哭了
这一次说好了要勇敢不再回头
让我们在这里分手
保存爱最后的自由
原谅我
来不及完成我
对你做的承诺

双手握着的美梦太重
幸福变得太过讽刺
你的心碎我懂
剩下我最后的奢求
只要能停止不断上演的痛

让我们在这里分手
在还来得及的时候
别哭了
这一次说好了要勇敢不再回头
让我们在这里分手
留下爱最美的时候
原谅我
我已经无力再
让你拥有快乐

看你强忍泪水我也不好过
就让我放开我的手

让我们在这里分手
在还来得及的时候
别哭了
这一次说好了要勇敢不再回头
让我们在这里分手
保存爱最后的自由
原谅我
来不及完成我
对你做的承诺

让我们在这里分手
也许能少一点刺痛
无法陪你再走

Once again, been pretty busy..

Work had been taxin last 2 weeks. Just settled 6 consecutive days of noon shifts, and was sloggin another 5 days before last sunday. So it was like 11 days and only 1 off in between? But hey, i'm havin my long weekend! Sun and Mon goner be fun` =D

Goner be jobless soon though. My dept is closin end of Jan 07, and i'm not plannin to shift. My records aren't pretty in the 1st place. So i guess its time to move on..

Lobangs anyone?

Been brain stormin nowadays, came up with few pretty neat ideas. Definitely workable, but, am a total stranger in the field. But where am i goner find success without even venturin? Shall work on my pen and paper and expect some actions soon..

Early xmas present from MissTan, once again surprised me with another big parcel and packet of heart candies. Thanks alot mate, truely appreciates it. But hope you aren't expectin anythin BIG in return! Hohoho` =P

Everybody's askin why i didn't mention a darn bit bout my SO. Oh well. The very last time we crossed road was like 3 years before. Feelins were lingerin ever since, never once forgotten. Yup, like a few of my pals who already knew, she is someone from my past. So now, 3 years later, she came back, and i'm really hopin things will work. Its goner be like a dream comin true. As crazy as it goes, its goner be a fairytale if so..

Yet i fear everything will just burst like bubble..

I was never the confident guy. Not after all the shit i'd crawled through in my life. I really like her i swear, but there's this feelin of uneasiness i have. I'm always the kamikaze type, going all out with everything i got. Always blowin myself up to bits..

That explains why i always sucks @ Bomber Man?

A nice song to share with you.
Listen with the lyrics and you'll understand.

张敬轩/王菀之 - 随你

之：
一個人的回憶
原來可以填滿空虛的心靈
你的快樂可以
燃亮我暗淡的日子
只要你喜歡就可以
我不管理智不理智
今天開始不再一起數星星

之：
一個人的委屈
原來可以換兩個人的幸福
(軒：我還愛你)

之：
我的離開可以
為你鋪張新的道路
(軒：和你一起)

之：
只要你喜歡就可以
我不理會我自己
(軒：她和你)

之：
今天開始她和你永不分離
(軒：無法相比)

之：
愛兩個人很深愛
再多就太無奈
(軒：曾經我們是如此的深愛)

之：
記得你說
兩個人都可愛
你想得太精彩
(軒：朝夕互相依賴)

之：
如果我不能將你整個擁入懷
(軒：怎可能就此離開)

之：
情願你全心接受她的愛
(軒：彼此都受傷害)

之：
讓我抱著我自己一個發呆

軒：
我跟她是誤會
愛你的心從沒有一刻偏移
真愛不說道理
只說明我的心意

之：
只要你喜歡就可以
我習慣沒有我自己
陽光和空氣你全部帶走
(軒：我根本不會走)

之：
我們就此分手
(軒：不要就此分手)

之：
只可惜愛
兩個人變無奈
再拖只有悲哀
(軒：怎麼不相信我全心為你)

之：
既然你說
兩個人都可愛
乾脆與她精彩
(軒：看著我的眼睛還那麼在乎你)

之：
如果我不能將你整個擁入懷
(軒：不想失去你的溫柔)

之：
情願你全心接受她的愛
(軒：不准你說要走就走)

之：
愛到白頭

軒：
一生一世手牽手

之：
時間跟眼淚溜走

之：
我獨自承受
(軒：別走)

之：
兩個人的愛情
原來不一定要美麗的結局
一個人在這裡

軒/之：
靜靜的回憶

After all these years of missing her wondering if she's fine..

Now she's back in my life..

And i know if i let her slip away again this time i'll regret for life..

We aren't sure of our future but at least now there's a chance to try..

Nobody can replace her in my heart don't ask me why..

She's my one and only BaoBei for sure our feelins had never died..