Decisions were never easy i believe..
Was at buddy's mom's pub last night to chill out. Had a great laugh crappin with the guys. While the drinks were rushin down my throat, my mind was spinnin. Aren't drunk, just going through a load of things. Had a quiet peaceful stroll alone near my place before headin home. Finally, my mind had settled..
First of all, i'm sorry for decidin without her consent. Told Ir we are just goner be friends. We kinda lack the spark that will blaze us right to the max. Yes, there were happy moments, but somethin is missin. Can't really describe what, just a feelin, somethin isn't right. To be frank, i'm not sure if i'm suitable for her, but she definitely won't feel happy with me. I'm not the kind of guy who can make her laugh and smile, like her bees. Am tired of hearin the word 'tryin', am not interested at all. Naive i might be, but please let my next flame be someone i can really settle down with for the rest of our lives..
Secondly, i'm givin up. J has her boy in her mind, i'm nowhere near. Yes, feelins for her won't just get blown away by the breeze, i'm still concern and worried in any ways i should be. But i'm pretty sure she'll be fine, she's goner have a happy life. Let me be the good friend she can have, with all the usual care and concern she's obliged to receive. I'll pray she'll be smilin forever..
So, conclusion, i still prefer being single!
Who knows, there might be another 'the one' whom i seek out there somewhere.
Someone whom i can click emotionally..
Someone whom will be happy with me for eternity..