Monday, February 20, 2006

Met Xx for movie last night.

Pink Panther. The movie drove me nuts! Applause to the director, he can�t be any lamer than this. Was shivering in Bishan GV, but kept laughing and laughing and laughing. Haven�t had any salted popcorn ever since my last broke up, it sure tasted salty alright. Salty feelings.

Damn qiao, saw Leon and some girl watching the same movie. The funny part is he kept calling out �Alvin! Alvin!� when he saw me entering. I was like wondering who�s that idiot keep shouting other people�s name in the cinema. Oops, turned out he was calling for me, with the wrong name. -.-

After the movie was supper at Prata House. I tried their sambal mutton, and it is damn nice can? So soft, totally no mutton stench. Goner order it again on my next supper feast there. Sat there and crapped for awhile before sending her home. 1st time in my life had I ever sent her till her house gates. Usually I�ll stop 1-2 detached houses away. Been quite a long time since I last walked through the street of detached houses, missed the red Ferrari I have always seen. Memories.

Realised many of my friends are still lost in life. They aimlessly wander in this huge world after escaping from the illusionary NS and schools. Being spoon fed since young, they now have to learn the harsh rules of this cruel world. They have merely been following the path paved by their loving parents. Now, reaching the end of the junction, they failed to make their own decision. Many couldn�t even see where they were headed to, thus stopping at the spot, while time ticks away merciless. Culture shock? Welcome to reality, my dear friends.

Love is the same. Between reality and dreams is just a thin fine line. I am still dreaming. The more I love, the more I care. The more I care, the more I desire. The more I desire, the more I�m disappointed. The more I�m disappointed, the more I�m hurt. And therefore, loving her becomes a pain in my heart. I know I�m just dreaming, yet I refused to be awakened. I had fallen too deep.

This spark of love, a flame it won�t be. But it will slowly burn me away, you guys will see.


1 comment:

Mint said...

Isn't what you said about love is typical for almost everyone? =/

Sometimes, you gotta help yourself back up on your feet. If you really can't do it, find someone... find your friends, find people that you trust the most and let out your feelings. See if they have any advices/suggestions that might help you. Most likely... from what you said, if you're never waking up from this dream, you'll never dare to love again. Physically, your friends might see you as, you're quite tough and all, but mentally and subconsciously, you are desiring the feeling more and more day-by-day.

So... just give it a go, try to find friends whom you trust the most and have a chit chat about it. Might help. =)

Being lost in life... Hmm... I see a lot of people around who are like that. We still gotta be independent one day, eventually. I mean, our parents are not going to be there for us forever and ever. Life is all about choices and the decisions that you make. Even if it comes to the harsh cruel reality. If you're talking about that, my studies are probably giving me that feeling. I've coped with it, and nothing can be changed. So what do I do? Look forward. I guess what people find is hard most of the time is probably failing. >.<"

I hope what I said in here isn't too harsh or sound mean there... if I did offend you... I wanna apologize first.