Thursday, September 18, 2008

My life is a drama?

True. Past showed nothin but hardships and sorrow. My closer pals, they know. Unlike some who were born with a silver spoon, i had a hard time earnin mine. Perhaps i'll take a little time elaboratin my story..

To put it simple, my father didn't care bout the family. Not a single cent he gave since i was in primary. So poor mommy worked so hard for 10 odd years, just to raise me up. She had sacrifised so much for me, i really love her to bits, and i think i really suck..

Till today i'm still unable to give my mom a better life.

I have to work part time durin school days. Pocket money for Primary school was 50cents and Secondary was 2bucks, hardly enough to save for any leisure. Thus, nothin was bought when young. Poly was 10bucks, and that included 3 meals a day. Money earned from work went to school stuff and personal leisure. I don't even have my own clothes, always have to wear my bro's. Ever remembered my hongkong trip with polymates durin year 2. I didn't want to go at all, can't afford, but friend's dad sponsored everythin. Till today i am still so grateful..

Oh ya, not forgettin bro too. 7 years older, he got into serious trouble 2 years ago. So deep into debts, all he did was borrowin from the family. That includes my auntie and his then gf. He also transferred mom's hard earned savings into his own. I even took a loan. Yet the only thing he blamed on was his luck..

Till today, he's still no better.

With a father who doesn't care bout the family, rather splurge all his cash into the fallin stock market and once claimed he'll bring his money into his grave, and a brother who dragged everyone close into trouble, always blamin his luck but never strivin hard enough, whose debts will never be cleared at this rate, i realised how stressful my future is..

Ever told my mom, if i am to fail in life, takin back only a miserable 3k per month, i won't get married. Rather have a quality life with my mom supportin just the 2 of us, than worryin bout money for house, car, wife, kids, studies, insurance, wadeva..

Rather suffer alone.

Though the cafe was closed down due to legal issues with my leasor, my partner and i made a lost of bout 35grand still. We didn't bring the old couple to court due to the fact they possess no valuable assets. Even if we win the case, should they go bankrupt, we'll even have to fork out our own legal fees. Not advisable at all..

Agreed to help my partner out with his packagin biz. He did ask me before we even started the cafe, but i insisted on openin first. So i am really guilty of the failed venture, draggin him down with me. But even though he trusted me, i still lack the drive. I know i can take a really huge step out by growin and nurturin his company, and that will bring him lotsa profits, considered me repayin him for all the care and help he had showered me with. But still..

I ought to be slapped awake.

Shall share 2 piano vids that i really like.
Both originally from S.E.N.S.
But i really enjoy this lady playin as well.

She's really good.
Full of feelins.


No comments: