This word has no actual significance to me. By the time memories begun to retain themselves, all I remembered were anguish moments and disappointments. Perhaps that's when appalling images of him started accumulating..
Before I even enrolled into primary school, I remember him waking me up early in the morning daily, like eight o'clock, just to buy breakfast and newspaper. The funny thing is, when the papers are sold out, or the food he preferred for that day ain't sold, I will get scolding. For what reason he gave, I really couldn't recall anymore..
I walked home alone from school since I'm seven. The cold empty house awaited me each time. Mother was out working hard for my living, seven years older brother was in school or out with friends, and him outside somewhere. Being home alone was nothing to me, gradually. Settling meals myself became a piece of cake..
Whenever I listened to aunties describing how they pampered their kids, I smiled. Not a sense of envy or jealousy. Just wondering how life could have been, if the person who is supposed to be important in my life, can be much better. If only he played his part in his responsibilities, forked out money for the family, put me to school and gave me food..
If only he could at least act like a Father.
Recently he gave my mom problems again. Endless whining, always criticizing. Sometimes I really wondered how mommy has been able to put up all these years. How would life been today, if she really went on with the divorce back then?
Nowadays I see myself more like a Virgo than Cancerian. I'd became quite a perfectionist, working really hard for the best of everything. For instance, I have been carrying weights and jogging regularly, wanting to be slim and fit once again. It just struck me one day, that I can have all the big bellies I want when I'm over fifty. Not now. Not twenties..
Now, I just wanna be the fittest, richest, most attractive, most fun, most devoted boyfriend, husband, father, and son, I can ever be.
Show you a glimpse of me recently.
Lastly, here's a little nice video to share.
Happy New Year of the Tiger folks.
Will be a great year for Pigs.
May I 扮猪吃老虎..