There she was, hugging me from behind..

As i turned my head and met hers, it was a scene that lasted. Angelic face, a faint smile, her eyes fading downwards like she's eyeing a bite on my neck..

"Thank you.."

She must had starred from behind for awhile. There i was, in formal clothing, sitting on a stool washing bowls and plates. Her mom was the owner of a hawker stall, and while her two daughters were busy serving and taking orders, i thought i could help by doing the dishes..

"益荣, 放住啦, 哪里好意思!"

Her mom yelled in frenzy. Slightly plump, her frail hair and wrinkled face seemed to be hiding a story. Though somewhat boorish and rough, i knew her mom fancied me to a certain degree. I was so deeply in love with her daughter, and it was obvious she had already given me her consent..

That very night, as i stood beside her bed, watching her sleep, she held my hand.

"Love you dear.."

I gave her a kiss goodnight..

.
.
.

This was when my alarm rang this morning..

It's torturing..
Either let it come true..
Or stop making me wake up from these..

Here, i wanna repost a video.


Maison Ikkoku.
Watched 10 years ago.
One of the most beautiful stories ever..

Ciao.

2012.

The ancient Mayans prophesized a full eclipse in 2009, and it happened. Now, next on the Mayans' list, they suggested a meteor shower or sorts, which signifies the end of civilization. Will it come true as well?

Well, if they are right again, this is how its gonna be like..


Three years is but a short time.
If everything is coming to an abrupt end,
What will you do?

Assuming the catastrophe will definitely occur, it is very depressing for me indeed. 29 years old at most, sanguinely successful with career i hope, perhaps having found the love of my life, the ideas of marriage still far off our minds, which literally means i won't be experiencing the joy of a groom, or the pride of a father..

And i can't be with my partner, till we grow old..

Speaking of which, i just saw 'UP' today.


Such a beautiful story.
Carl and Ellie.
I kinda envy..

And it just irks me even more, utterly infuriated, at how marriages, or even relationships, begin and end these days. I have friends who got into BGRs, for no good reasons, when love is not even present. I have people around me jump into marriages, only to lament months later, laughed and drunk themselves silly..

Sometimes its really funny,
With mixed feelings,
Seeing how people mess up their own life..

Ciao.

Ten things i should have or have not done..

1 ~
Inin. Though she's the one i loved the most, i didn't give her my best, often taking her for granted, and this had became my biggest regret. If only i would persevere right till the end, and not being the first to surrender from our love triangle..

2 ~
I rejected my childhood buddy Qiwei's invitation to Taekwando when we were younger. We could have been good partners, and i could keep my fitness and focus at my peak. It was during poly years, and i thought we were too old to start new. But alas, i should have guessed. It's never too old..

3 ~
There was a night of regret, with a person i couldn't even recall the name. We had fun at the park, at her aunt's place. I left after the shower. I must have shattered her heart completely..

4 ~
Wished i were more mature and self-conscious during my poly years. Three years down the drain achieving nothing but a waste of time. Could have held more part time jobs and complete my Japanese language. Could have done something better to my hair..

5 ~
I still remember the childhood life where me and three sisters play everyday. They're my wonderful neighbours, for a short period. When they shifted away during my primary school days, i was too young to realize. The day they moved, was the day we all lost contact..

6 ~
Shouldn't have taken the $10k loan. Or rather, shouldn't have spent it on worthless reasons and people, and i could have invested the amount for a good return. Its too late..

7 ~
If given a chance to open a steamboat place again, i will definitely personally check the lease. I'm sorry to Ray, that a simple mistake of mine, cost us both $20k..

8 ~
I felt i owe an apology to my poly classmates. We were all so close before, had so much fun. Genting. Hong Kong. But i disappeared, after graduation. When i finally overcame the breakups during army, it was already too late. We had became strangers again..

9 ~
Thinking back, my teachers used to claim i have a knack for arts and music. It's a pity, that i'd long put down my brushes, and gave away my electronic keyboard..

10 ~
The saddest feeling which immerse me right now, is the fact that i'm yet successful with my career, and my mom has to carry on working even though she's already 55..

Ciao.

怀念有人温柔地、用心地、帮我洗头的感觉…
也喜欢一起盖被，一起害怕，一起看着恐怖片…

Does she know..?

听了, 好痛..


Can't help reminiscing the past..
like what 苏永康 sang..
旧爱还是最美..

Mid Autumn.

Amidst a handful of blissful weddings, lie deaths and falling leaves. Contrastingly, I witnessed three weddings and three funerals in the month of September. There were joy of old pals tying the knot, and the bitterness having acquaintances parting our world..

Such irony.

The Chinese believe in Yin and Yang. It is said all entities are represented by two extremes. When there is good, there will be bad. When there is hope, so will there be despair. The rich and the poor, and the list goes on..

I've seen my fair share of extremes at work. The quiet, and the loud speaker. The patient, and the backstabber. The smiling, and the disgruntled sob. The experienced, and the incompetent. The laborer, and the politician. The innocent, and the evil schemer..

Earning just nine dollars an hour, averaging two days a week, it sure seems a little over?

And of course, in relationships, the famous SNAG and MCP. The dangerous and the settler. The high demander and the low self esteem. The falling in love, and the broken heart..

I wish her all the best.

Moving on, the latest book I borrowed is called 'Gold Trading Boot Camp'. At just page eleven, I am already intrigued by the writer's unique experiences at the trading house. Forty-four chapters later, or three hundred odd pages, I believe and expect to see beyond my own cramped world..

If you're interested in trading (commodities, stocks, bonds, etc), reading charts, analyzing trends, anticipating booms, do grab it at your nearest libraries.

Not posting any clip tonight.
Go take a look at the Full Moon.
Happy Lantern + MoonCake Festival Everyone.

Ciao.

I can't love someone i can't Communicate with.

One of the very basic foundation of a lasting relationship, but often neglected. Many chose to go along with feelings, end up in quarrels. Some may last a few years, but without proper communication, all start to fail..

If she doesn't open up, its as good as gone.

As a man, i seriously shouldn't bother with heart matters all the time. There are so many grave issues to tackle, and a distracted mind will only delay the process. And so i've decided, to hell with Love..

Time to be serious.

A stock broking firm wants me to pass M1A and M6 exams. I've put it to thought for awhile, considering the remuneration a remisier gain along the way, with valuable experience and a gateway into the financial world once again. Its my best bet, so far..

Though i'm also considering a full time effort in assisting Ray with his packaging business, which i've failed him personally without proper commitment of my efforts..

Either way, its important i get back on track dealing with what i'm required to accomplish. A career man, is definitely more attractive than a whiner, who always talk about Love..

A nice wedding flick i saw on FB.


One day i'll have a beautiful house,
A wonderful lifelong partner,
And a lovely family..

I vouch for that.

Ciao.

Secret of My Success.

Not all business founders have a silver spoon.
Only a few went Harvard or such.
Some even deep in debts..

61 stories of great names; Bill Gates (Microsoft), Howard Schultz (Starbucks), Toni Mascolo (Tony & Guy), Sir Richard Branson (Virgin Records, and all other Virgin establishments), etc. They are all ordinary people, with extraordinary passion to share.

It is good luck to grab this 2009 edition off the library shelves. I have so far covered three quarters of the book, and am already trembling with adrenaline, having 61 mentors all over the world inspiring with vision and dreams.

I yearn to attain such greatness in near future.
At least I've realized similar traits.
All are self claimed unemployable..

Today is a BIG day for two wonderful person.
A lovely dinner @ Sheraton Towers.
Remy & Alicia's..

Nothing beats watching old friends tying the knot. After such a romantic run of 9 years, so truly inspirational and warm, they are finally walking down the aisle, standing beside the very person they'll love so deeply for life, braving through thick and thin, for eternity..

Here's a lovely wedding clip i digged.


I've always preferred the western style of marriages. A simple meal with the families, the lovely solemnization at the beach, and a fabulous dinner for all friends and relatives, without changing of tux and gowns relating to a fashion display. Best ending with a slow romantic dance, with my one and only..

All the best, newly weds!

Ciao.

Digged this from a friend's.

A Professional Mistake

Your alarm rings, signalling another brand new day. You get up, looking forward for another new day of challenge, another new day to learn. After washing up, you put on your office outfit, giving you that professional look, one that you believe many out there envy. Breakfast follows(perhaps), and you head off to your office. You’re one of the earliest to arrive, ahead of all your superior and when they come in later, they greet you and you feel all charged up for another productive day. Plenty to do and learn and hence, you are prepared to stay back late to do all that is necessary.

If you’re currently doing a degree in finance, accounting or law, the above is probably what you’ve been waiting for all these years. You work your ass off (well… most of you) in university because it’s your dream to join one of those big glamorous firms out there in the market. Lawyers and accountants are the usual suspects for this curse. Once graduated, all of them will run like headless chicken towards those big firms. If you’re an accounting student… you want to be an auditor in one of the Big-4 right?

Well, if you do make it, it’s like a dream come true. In such firms, you get a personal computer, maybe a notebook (wow!). All your stationeries are free, and it’s also the first time you step into a ‘pantry’, where you can make your own coffee, just like those nice offices in TVB series. Next, you get an exclusive e-mail, the domain after your name is not the ordinary @gmail.com or @hotmail.com or @yahoo.com… No, it’s not, it’s your-name@a-big-and-glamorous-firm.com. You can’t wait to tell that to your friend.

Then comes the feeling of giving a business card with your name on it, and it’s not any other business card, it’s one with your name on it, it’s onethat signifies you’re an employee with a-big-and-glamorous-firm. And… the word below your name is not a lowly “accounts executive”… the word below your name is exclusive… the word below your name is… “Associate”. And when your friend gives you the “Wow, you’re an associate with this firm?”… you get into instant orgasm.

3 or 6 months into your job, you will then be experiencing the euphoria of saying… I-am-very-busy… I-have-a-lot-work…I-worked-till-very-late-last-night…I-can't-make-it-for-the-gathering-cos-I-have-to-work-this-weekend. Yeah, it’s an euphoria because to you, it’s a privilege to be busy, it’s very cool to work late, you’re very proud to work in during weekends. When you utter such words, a sense of arrogance and pride radiates from you. You feel great because working so hard means you learnt a lot of things, those not in the professional industry somehow looks lowly to you. You feel big, you feel you’re a level smarter than them. Reality will tend to sink in within 2 years or so, though the duration seems to be getting shorter and shorter now with the younger generation.

First, you will probably ask yourself, how come a graduate like you must do all sorts of donkey jobs such as photocopying, checking invoices, going through piles and piles of documents and filing. You will also be wondering how come your superior whom you once looked up to have to suck up to clients. Oh yeah… most all clients are unreasonable.

If you’re an accountant, you will probably realise that there is no such thing called a ‘balance’ sheet. It’s balanced because you did the balancing act so that your big boss can sign on it and certify it as ‘true and fair’.Yeah… signing on accounts, the job that you once dreamed of… isn’t exactly all a bed of roses. You then realise that you will probably never reach that “just-need-to-sign-only stage” but hey… it’s ok, you probably hate that job by now. When you tell your client something, chances are you are just as blur and confused as them. But you have to act as though you’re an expert because you’re the con-sul-tant. This is just a glimpse of it.

Now, all the late nights and irregular meals will probably cause you to age 8 years in 2 years. Those I-am-very-busy… I-have-a-lot-work…I-worked-till-very-late-last-night…I-can't-make-it-for-the-gathering-cos-I-have-to-work-this-weekend will take its toll on your body and it will show. You will probably look very skinny…or very far… you will certainly look old and worn out. Working late and spending weekends in the office is no longer a cool thing but absolute stupidity. But hey… you will still have to do it, because there’s still much work to be done.

By now, all your friends who ended up as salesmen or doing other things except being a professional, those whom you felt superior to are driving anything but a proton. But for you, it’s time to think whether you should buy a proton cause your perodua is beginning to give you problems. Of course, if your father is a well-connected fella, things can be different. But if you’re not, tough luck. You’ll be wondering how come you’re generally under-paid. Those exposure and learning curve that you once craved for are no longer relevant. You want to make more money. But unless you’re a partner of the glamorous firm, money can be a lil tough to come by.

At this point of time, probably after 3, 4 or 5 years, you finally realise that document (click on this link!) you signed when you first joined the glamorous firm was nothing but lies. Then, you decide to ply your trade in the commercial world, you leave the glamorous firm. You think joining a commercial firm will bring about a good change, not knowing that such a move means you switched from being a ‘profit centre’ to a ‘cost centre’. One of the main effects of the switch is that you will be working doubly hard compared to the profit centre, which probably includes a lot of late nights too… but your salary and bonus is much lower compared to the profit centre. What does this mean… a story for another time.

One thing's for sure… your morning will now be something like…

Your alarm rings, signalling another day… another weekday. You get up, after snoozing the alarm a million and one times. You hope today is Friday, but it’s not, and you feel like shit. You think of a million and one reasons to take MC, but you realised you have to go to office because you failed to finish the report due today though you stayed till 10pm last night. You tell yourself you need to change jobs, just like how you have been telling yourself in the last 1 year. Once in office, you’re in a dilemma cause you want time to go slower so that you can finish your work but yet, you want time to go faster so that you can leave the office and go for lunch.

During lunch, you will bitch with your colleagues about work and probably the bosses. You will all talk about so many people who seem to be doing so well except for you. You realised you should have done something else while in university. You realised you may have made a mistake in life… a mistake in being a professional… you have made… a professional mistake.

True, isn't it?

Now, something to cheer about :)


Ciao.

Days passed like seconds tickin.
August came.
It has been awhile..

幸福是要争取的?

There are times i feel so helplessly manipulated by Fate. Time and time again happiness crossed my path, and yet i can't reach out. Visions of blissful future engulfed my mind, and i know life can be so much more beautiful if i'm given a chance. But no..

遇见, 却又不能与幸福总结?

Watchin her eyes betrayin the happiness she tried wearin on her smiles. Hearin her heart shatterin when the guy she bet all on turned out a scam. Smellin the salt in her tears even when we haven't met. And i can't do a shit..

只不过是个路人..

There are times my heart pounds, prayin she will become my smile. If only life can be a little more merciful and spare two more souls their sorrows. Feel like givin a tight hug, tellin her everything will be fine right now. I'll never let her go..

神啊, 请给我多一个机会吧..

I wanna be in her albums too.
To smile with her.
Forever..

Ciao.