Do dreams come true?

I dream alot at night. Sometimes they can be so real, i'll wake up in tears, smiles or sweat. A few of them occur in real life, when i can suddenly recall this exact scene happenin somewhere else, deja vu. The rest are usually so vague i won't remember the very next mornin..

Recently i had one i wish it'll really come true.

Other than catchin up with old friends whom have gone missin, i met 2 person i really wanted to see. One was Rachael, someone i have known for years, but never had the chance of meetin in person. We chatted and laughed so much, somethin we never did in real life..

And Jeannie too.

Dreamt that she came all the way to Singapore, just to visit me from her school holidays in China! Seriously, i was really touched (in the dream) and was so happy bout it. We went Sentosa and ECP, did lotsa shoppin, had lotsa food. It was a really sweet dream, but i didn't dare to tell her bout it..

I'm so shy, bet she'll literally LOL.

Dreamt of 'her' too. She seemed so much older, came fetchin me with her car. Some ppl say dream is a reflection of what our heart yearns for. But her takin care of me, financially? Is this what i really want..?

Over my dead body.

Am startin to feel the drift between us. Though it has only been a few days, there was no honeymoon. Every call and meetin up feels so stressful. Really feel like givin up already..

We simply aren't suitable for each other.

Am pickin up work steadily nowadays. Won't be long before i go full fledge on the business, hopin to see results asap. Always happy to see the quotations and orders comin in. Finally findin back my mood, its bout time..

Before i go, let me share a vid as usual.

陳偉聯-I Love You


Really applause for his bravery. Without a pair of proper eyes, he dares to step out into gray areas, where other blind people couldn't. Many others would have been so much more depressed..

No, i'm not sympathisin with him.
Most normal people don't even have the balls.
I truly admire people with determination and backbone.

May all of us find our own reasons of bein happy, our own meanins in life, and our own source of warmth in this chillin world.

Ciao.

Love was never easy.

The differences between 2 person can usually determine the outcome right at the start of any relationships. They are the main killers, as it takes more than just 'Love' to overcome any missin links in between. Compromisin is a nicer word of sayin 'i give in' after series of debates, and the relationship shall go on as long one side is still willin..

Nowadays, i am havin problems even with food.

Just imagine, a guy like me who doesn't even own credit cards and am so satisfied with just a $3 bowl of nice bak-cho-mee, is datin a girl who has nothin but branded items and is used to dinin exquisite meals all the time, each easily sum up to $150 per person?

Needless to compare our spendin habits.

I HATE spendin other ppl's money, been pretty much on my own since young. So, its either i splash all my savings on our dates, or she's willin to sacrifice her taste buds at really cheap places..

Friends told me she should care and understand my situation, its not a big deal eatin at Swensons or even Sushi Tei. But i can understand, if i am to be brought up like her with all the best things in life since young, i may end up pretty the same. I really don't want her to suffer with me..

Why can't i just earn more?
Why can't i have lesser troubles?
Why can't i lead a better life..

Anntonii recently showed me a really nice song.
Same singer of the song <100种生活> i posted before.
Ought to share with you peeps.

盧廣仲 - 寂寞考


Really nerdy looks.
But the songs he wrote, fabulous.
Shall listen to them till i fall asleep tonight.

Ciao.

My life is a drama?

True. Past showed nothin but hardships and sorrow. My closer pals, they know. Unlike some who were born with a silver spoon, i had a hard time earnin mine. Perhaps i'll take a little time elaboratin my story..

To put it simple, my father didn't care bout the family. Not a single cent he gave since i was in primary. So poor mommy worked so hard for 10 odd years, just to raise me up. She had sacrifised so much for me, i really love her to bits, and i think i really suck..

Till today i'm still unable to give my mom a better life.

I have to work part time durin school days. Pocket money for Primary school was 50cents and Secondary was 2bucks, hardly enough to save for any leisure. Thus, nothin was bought when young. Poly was 10bucks, and that included 3 meals a day. Money earned from work went to school stuff and personal leisure. I don't even have my own clothes, always have to wear my bro's. Ever remembered my hongkong trip with polymates durin year 2. I didn't want to go at all, can't afford, but friend's dad sponsored everythin. Till today i am still so grateful..

Oh ya, not forgettin bro too. 7 years older, he got into serious trouble 2 years ago. So deep into debts, all he did was borrowin from the family. That includes my auntie and his then gf. He also transferred mom's hard earned savings into his own. I even took a loan. Yet the only thing he blamed on was his luck..

Till today, he's still no better.

With a father who doesn't care bout the family, rather splurge all his cash into the fallin stock market and once claimed he'll bring his money into his grave, and a brother who dragged everyone close into trouble, always blamin his luck but never strivin hard enough, whose debts will never be cleared at this rate, i realised how stressful my future is..

Ever told my mom, if i am to fail in life, takin back only a miserable 3k per month, i won't get married. Rather have a quality life with my mom supportin just the 2 of us, than worryin bout money for house, car, wife, kids, studies, insurance, wadeva..

Rather suffer alone.

Though the cafe was closed down due to legal issues with my leasor, my partner and i made a lost of bout 35grand still. We didn't bring the old couple to court due to the fact they possess no valuable assets. Even if we win the case, should they go bankrupt, we'll even have to fork out our own legal fees. Not advisable at all..

Agreed to help my partner out with his packagin biz. He did ask me before we even started the cafe, but i insisted on openin first. So i am really guilty of the failed venture, draggin him down with me. But even though he trusted me, i still lack the drive. I know i can take a really huge step out by growin and nurturin his company, and that will bring him lotsa profits, considered me repayin him for all the care and help he had showered me with. But still..

I ought to be slapped awake.

Shall share 2 piano vids that i really like.
Both originally from S.E.N.S.
But i really enjoy this lady playin as well.





She's really good.
Full of feelins.
fy48k.

Ciao.

How time flies?

It was as though yesterday that she was still loud and sporty with black hair. But now? Hair full of white, she walks with clutches. Yes, exactly 60 years older than me, my only grand parent left in this world..

It was grandma's bday days back.

I am actually totally disgusted with relatives from my father's side. Back stabbin, ill mouthin, even fought between siblings for my passed away gramps' money. I guess it shows, the way my father is, so does his family. But i still heart my grandma lotsa?

She's such a poor soul, you know?
Puttin myself in her shoe, seein my children behaved like that,
I would have cried to my death..

We had a little celebration, just my family and her. Took her to a little restaurant, had her favorite food. My father was reluctant to order sharkfin for her though, it cost 80bucks, but mom called for it nonetheless. Yup, as usual, my mom was made to foot half the bill because of that..

That got me wonderin, if grandma is my mommy's mom, or his?

Even funnier, my bro talked alot that night. He whispered to me sayin "Oh man, father is makin mom pay again". But deep within i thought, isn't him the same? Shall not comment much bout how he treats his wife and our mom..

Such a funny family i have.

Regardin 'someone' i mentioned in my previous post, she explained. The 'bf' was just a ruse to trigger me, for i was the undecidin party who can't make up my bloody mind. She loves me, she said. Yet now, i am still very undecided. We have just too much differences..

But it will be a fairytale, should it come true.

Here i shall introduce a favorite song of mine.
From Utada Hikaru.
Final Distance.


We can start sooner,
Yapari (i knew it, in the end),
I wannt be with you..

Perhaps, it sang my heart..

Slept only 4 hours last night.
Brain is almost dead.
Shall catch my wink.

Ciao.

How absurd can things be?

Just a night ago, someone claimed her love for me.
Lesser than 12 hours later, she had another he.
So much for a future called 'we'..

Recalled there's this song.
I find it nice.
Sang my heart.


So what exactly happened? Happened that i was havin a silly dream? A dream that got me wonderin? Wonderin if there is really a future? A future that consists of 2 person from 2 totally different world?

But ya, nothin matters now.
Back to the same old me.
For i have awaken.

Ciao.

If Fate is an entity, she's really impish.

A personal definition of Fate is, it bein the chance of things to happen. Whether we grasp the moment or let it go, its another story. While things can be as shitty as the headline and its article, Fate really brings pleasant surprises too..

Like how i met my 1st twin friends?

I have no idea what i have done to deserve.
2 absolutely sweet & lovely ladies.
Their existence alone bring warmth.
Needless to explain more.

If there's ever this day i can walk alongside, you bet the guys are gonna hate me for life ahaha.

Enough of walkin in this chillin world.
Let me show somethin that will bring a smile for the day.


Presto!

A short clip by Pixar, bein shown before the movie Wall-E. And yaa, you bet Wall-E is so much better. A really cute approach to romance too. Saw it in bangkok, and i don't mind catchin once more. I mean, if 10 bucks can buy a joyous 100mins of life, why not? *winks*

The fact i'm awake now typin away is really disbelievin. A moment ago i was still noddin away, after a tirin sat swim and late lunch. Partly thanks to the smses i guess. And not forgettin, the msn chats =]

Have a big Q for you all.

Does status differences strike fear in you? For example, crushin on a sweeet little daughter of 1 of the richest men on the island. You will realise, unless miracles do occur, but for a mere peasant to become a duke? At most i can work real hard and provide a comfortable life at best. But to attain riches like her father?

It is not impossible.
Yet it is not assured.
Furthermore, yaa, it takes 2 hands to clap.
Maybe i'm just someone else in her heart..

But, well, just a crush.
I've already been so teared apart.
I need love, not fun.
See how things go..

Anyway, a song to wrap things up.


Mika Nakashima. I love her vocals.
There were other better songs, but let me show this 1st.

Until next time, yaa?

Ciao.

I truly apologise..

To both my beloved friend,
To their families,
To all my secondary schoolmates..

I have absolutely no idea how this place was found. The fact my words were bein made used irks me. Thoughts from my heart turned headlines, it hurts..

I sincerely pray the authors will stop.
Allow my friends to go in peace.
Let us all tide through this tough time.
I'll pray for their good deeds..

I mean, com'on, just put yourself in our shoes..

Tomorrow will be a difficult day.
Sendin a friend off on her journey.
I'll miss..

Please..
Cherish and Appreciate..
Everyone and Everything..

Just 2 posts ago, i mentioned how i dread deaths..
Yet currently, i have 2 wakes to attend..

Nicole Mok and Lin Mei Yan.
Both sweet and beautiful ladies.
Both are my secondary schoolmates.
Both from the same class.
Both met with car accidents on Friday night..
Both left us on 290808..

Nicole passed on in US. Her body will be flown back on Monday. We will be attendin her wake on Tuesday evenin, Singapore Casket, Ruby room..

As for Mei Yan, we will be headin down tonight. She passed on with her bf, car smashed into a tree at very fast speed. It was really very tragic. It came on the papers. This will be the link to the news..
http://www.omy.sg/News/Local%2BNews/Story/OMYStory200808301616-45027.html

But i was thinkin, at least they left together, havin each other for company. I really can't imagine the situation, if only 1 of them survived........

So, perhaps, it was a blessin in disguise.
They loved each other right till the end of their time..

There are no words to describe my feelins right now.
I'll let this song do the job..


Ciao..

Had ktv the other day!

It has been really long. Visited the latest Partyworld @ Liang Court. Pretty room, beautiful spot lights, and big LCD tv for searchin songs. Really sang our lungs out!

1 of my fav songs,
张智成 - 很想你


But parkin @ Liang Court is really expensive, almost 10 bucks for a few hours. Doubt will frequent, unless i have cravin for japanese food or the double scoop Gelato ice cream i had back then =P

Speakin of music vids, i was reminded of a song from many years back. It was durin poly years when i 1st saw it. Was pretty embarrassed back then, i nearly cried in class!

Yaa, its that sad.
An mtv from Kiss.


I have always wondered if the lady took care of the guy in the end. I think she will, for they were in love. Its his eyes that she has anyway. I would have done the same..

Seriously, not much mood to blog recently. Must be the bangkok trip, still in holidayin mood. Or perhaps, i just don't have the feel anymore, stayin in this room..

Shall blog again when i'm emo.

Ciao.

Mandai Crematorium..

A place we won't wanna be? Each time we step into that forsaken place, cries will be heard, tears will be dropped. We'll all lose someone precious..

Joe flew back days back for his dad's funeral. I cancelled my mornin appointment to join him in the wake. Not much words exchanged, his heart was weary. Just a few pat on his back, hopin everythin is ok. And the heavy rain, it wasn't pleasin..

Quiet it was at the crematorium, till the furnace door opened. As the wooden coffin made its way, cries were loud. Even a stranger who had never seen the person journeyin to the neither world, dropped a few tears. I earnestly bowed. It wasn't an easy sight..

Life is just so friggin fragile?

Not only that we may just pass on anytime in our life, but the aftermath, bringin so much sorrows to everyone else. Though we all have to resign to Fate, when we need to go, we need to go. But, it just aren't somethin pleasant..

So, shouldn't we Cherish even more? Our families, our friends, our love. Nothin can be said when its all too late. Shouldn't we work harder with our goals, our dreams, and our life? Rather than whinin bout hardship, problems, and over a stupid worthless guy?

Someone just told me she's tired of livin last night. Asked her to take a visit at the hospital. HOW MANY TERMINALLY ILLED PATIENTS WOULD LOVE TO SWITCH PLACE? I mean, they are not even given a chance? I am damn sure they are ALL SO WILLING to exchange their short lives for our insignificant problems. Yet, someone as healthy as her, wished to end her sufferins? Give me a break..

世上无难事,
只怕有心人.
Buck up ya.
Aren't we all fightin hard for our own happiness..

I will love to enjoy every moment i have,
With someone i truly love.

Therefore,
I dedicate yet another fav song of mine,
From yet another fav movie,
To everyone else readin my blog now.

Do turn on the volume loud.


Have a nice weekend everyone.

Ciao.