Sittin right here in my room, lookin around.

I saw this hand print she left on the wall. The shirts she picked still hangin in my closet, same goes for those boxers she bought. Starrin at the very bed she once slept so innocently on, i still can't accept the fact 3 months have already passed. Time is really merciless..

Nah, i'm not missin her. Just amused at the fact i once assumed she loved me more than anyone else. A year and months ago, i could have easily given my best to someone else. Just because i thought she and her son needed me more..

I'm not regrettin.
I stepped in and gave my best.
I loved her more than anyone else..

But guess thats not enough after all.

Today, i had ktv with Ray. It was fun tryin many new songs with him. Sang a few really emo ones too, and got my thoughts spinnin. Let me share a few..

吳克群 - 不屑紀念
(不屑 kinda means 'bui gian' in hokkien)


范逸臣 - 忘了爱
(the lyrics totally sang what i've once been through..)


施文斌 - 忘不了
(i can still rem the 1st breakup 5 years ago..)


My heart seems to beat weaker with each passin day.

The thought of fallin deeply is becomin really foreign. It frightens more than it incites me these days. Years after years, time after time, my heart broken into billion pieces. Have i grown afraid of love?

I really should, lookin at how most people abuse and mistreat it nowadays.

I mean, what is the chance of meetin someone who still believes in givin her very best, for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer, to love and to cherish, till death do us part?

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return."


Fate hasn't came knockin at my doorsteps yet,
但我真的好累..

Ciao.

Whats with horror movies?

I have absolutely no idea why people around me dig such thrills. 8 bucks for a 2 hours session of high blood pressure and scare-the-shit-out-of-myself thoughts, is it really worth? Not forgettin the usual crappy plot we see at the end of the story. And the aftermath of watchin friends not darin to go toilet or take the lift alone is really lolable..

Why people like to see gore and ghost so much? Wait till they experienced things themselves, they won't enjoy it anymore..

If you truly are a horror fan,
I dare you to visit this site.
At least survive the photograph session yaa?
http://www.hotel626.com

A peek at a few shows i enjoyed.

P.S. I Love You


A Walk To Remember

Landen : Exactly, its like you're readin my mind!
Jamie : Great, erm, maybe you could read mine? -.-"
LOL!

Penelope


The Family Man


Second chances.

What if everyone gets to have a glimpse too? What if i get to have a glimpse? Its not like i'm not enjoyin every moment of my current life, but there were just so many choices. Phew, i really can't imagine..

I wish i can go back to the day i did the most wrong in my entire 25 years of bein alive.

May my dearest cousys Jessie, Jasmine, Jocelyn and Nelson get well sooon.
May Ray do way better than what he had already achieved.
May YongTang has a safetrip back from Vietnam in 4 days' time.
May Alicia and us have so much fun with ktv this comin thurs.
May Jingwen be well and healthy from her work.
May every single one of you, my dearest pals who have accompanied me through days of fun and misery, be well, and definitely HAPPY.
May more truth and meaning be shown in my life.

左手座位的我，随着她的意念而奔驰。
是短暂的幸福？
还是我的致命伤..

Ciao.

十月和雨季的配搭，好像并不友善。

雨水的落下，心灵也跟着湿嗒嗒地乱想，理智都被淹没了。在这十月里，我证见了多少泪水，听见了多少心碎。一个个倒下，看着自己为了‘爱’而奋斗的理想一瞬间变成泡沫，她们都崩溃了..

到底什么才是‘爱’？

相信大家都一致想过。它，有如‘爱情’这科目的致命题。基本上，如果一生中没有个理想的定义，那几十年的寿命铁定不会幸福。但残酷地，就算你能完整的作出答案，也未必能品尝胜利。因为，‘爱情’始终不是单人项目。寻找一个对的‘搭档’，谈何容易..

新加坡人的爱情，太乏味，太现实了。

年轻时，双方因为暧昧而凑在一起。但不成熟的想法，总是能为了最无聊的‘在哪里’或‘做什么’而争吵。长大后，生活的烦恼一个一个现身。‘钱’和‘未来’，也开始成为能够分手的理由。

其实，爱一个人，不就是完完全全地，
关心她，照顾她，
接受她，欣赏她，
保护她，陪着她
想要永远的在一起吗？

是时代改变，还是我太老套？
爱，不就是爱？
哪来这么多分手的借口..

在此，想和大家分享一段有意义的短片。


其实，我也不必多说。
会了解的，始终会了解。
就像杰伦和陶吉吉都唱过的。
爱，真的很简单。

Have you ever felt this miserable?

Lyin on your bed, your head ticks away. Body sweats, but nose can't help sneezin. You wanna talk, but no voice nor breath to do so. You are hungry, but climbin out of bed is the last thing you wish to do. Worst of all, you pray there is someone beside to care for you, to touch your forehead and say "Everythin will be alright". But when you look around, you see no one else..

That was me, yesterday.

But i managed to get out of bed just now, to make a delivery. Head still hurts, nose still blocked, throat still sore, but i guess things are alot better right now. Can't always rely on friends for help, though i know Ray will 100% settle the delivery for me if i say i'm unwell. Rather die halfway there than troublin him anymore..

Am startin to feel effects from the economy downturn.

It is very obvious some major companies disappeared from sg. Those big clients either closed down or moved out of the island. Since i have not put 100% effort into the company, i am not feelin the pinch yet. But with lesser demands and slower trade goin around the world, it will soon boil down from retail to supplier, manufacturer, and even raw materials..

The almost 40k lost from the cafe cannot come at a worse time for Ray and i.

But i came to believe everythin happens for a reason. One incident links to another, this is how life unfolds. With decisions, we determine and alter our life. We control our future..

We write our own life story.

Somethin to share from Laosu.
Somethin touchin, and somewhat incredible.
Somethin that tells me, life can be so much more wonderful..



I was already very amazed she can play the piano when she's only 5yo, and BLIND. But when i hear her sing at the very last part while playin, i can't help but feel a shiver down my spine. Tears almost came, a sudden surge of sadness..

Here's another clip of her, with Connie Talbot, the child prodigy from American Idol.


Watchin them, i can't help but feel the future is alot brighter..

I had a dream that night after Starbucks,
Woke up smilin.
No matter will it be my future or remain a dream,
I'll seriously work towards it.

I think i have just found my direction.

I really love Utada's Sakura Drops,
Can't help bitchin bout it again,
Since its literally singin out my thoughts..

"Doushite onaji you na panchi nando mo kuracchaun da"
Why have i suffered, the same blows such countless times?

"Sore demo mata tatakaun darou"
But even so, i'll probably fight again?

Especially this chorus part.

"Koi wo shite"
Fallin in Love,

"Subete sasage"
Givin it my everythin,

"Negau koto wa kore ga sagoi no HEARTBREAK"
Wishin this is the last HEARTBREAK..

Ciao.

Its the rainy season again.

Sittin at Starbucks, watchin umbrellas sway in motion. Under each privacy for two, their faces reveal beautiful smiles. Against the loud droplets they whisper, utterin nothin but happiness i believe..

Its the season for love as well.

It must be the exam period too. Packed with books and lecture notes, everybody's muggin. Seems like i'm the only stress-less soul around. Must be a really weird culture, for students to flood the chains seekin a socket for their laptops. Doubt you'll see this scene anywhere else..

Time flies, Xmas drawin near.
Its gonna be fun this year.
Cause i'm single..

I remember grillin chicken chop and fryin chips for her last year. My 3rd ex, she had the pleasure of my cookin. Didn't feel she enjoyed though, no words of appreciation were muttered. Only commented the sauce was too salty..

I should try bakin a whole chicken this year, for someone else.

Have i already revealed how much i love Utada Hikaru's songs? Let me bitch more ahaha. I fell in love with hikki when i was only 16. Her lyrics and music accompanied me through the years, both ups and downs. She is indispensible from my life..

Let me share a few favorite songs.

Dareka No Negai Ga Kanau Koro
(as usual, i'm really impressed with her lyrics)


Sakura Drops
(and her live singin can be so mesmerisin)


Hikari
(she looks so sweeet when she's givin in her best)


First Love
(and the best song a 15yo can ever write)


If i'm ever given a wish from a genie,
Forget the riches and the fame,
I just wanna befriend her..

LOL

The flu is killin me nowadays. Sneezin away in the middle of Starbucks, with many pairs of eyes set upon me. I should make a move soon, head for a really hot and heart warmin dinner. May the flu be gone soon..

Ciao.

Does your heart still goes 'doki-doki'?

How long has it been,
Since you had this sizzlin hot fever?
Do your heart still skip a beat,
Face to face with the person you love?

Still remember?
The blush, when both 1st held hands.
The comfy, durin the 1st hug.
The nervousness, with the 1st kiss.
The love, on the 1st night..

For couples, its so important to find back the feelin of 'fallin in love' again, ya know?

How often have i heard words like,
'No more feelins'
'Our love died'
'There is no meanin anymore'

How many couples ended up strangers like that,
Such tragic..

Heart your SO once more,
Shower them a little more love?
It doesn't harm givin them a little kiss,
And whisperin 'I Love You' straight from your heart..

At least do your part, ya know?
One day, they'll appreciate.
Even if its too late..

Chanced upon the song playin now on this blog, 心跳.
Reminded me of the above post i wrote on flowerpod.

Laosu asked some questions recently,
And i'm still thinkin of an exact answer.
But generally i guess it is when we think of them,
Yet our hearts no longer harbour any sadness,
Especially after listenin to the 3 songs below..

They are my all time favorite, X-Japan.

Endless Rain


Forever Love


Tears


I pray i can meet someone i'll go so crazily over with,
I think i'm ready for love once more.
I hope she'll confess to me how madly she hearts me too,
Someone i'll be so willin to die for..

Ciao.

What kind of shows catch your eyes?

Its no secret what my favorites are. Pals who are close know i have a sick fetish. I totally dig sad stories. Best if its duper tears jerkin..

Tonight, let me intro a few.

01 - 1 Litre of Tears


Just like the title suggest, a drama with lotsa cryin. This happy school girl, Aya, was leadin such a beautiful life. Until one day, illness struck. Imagine the day you realised that you'll slowly not bein able to walk with ease, not bein able to talk properly, not bein able to move, in just a few years time? Until the day you die? Can you actually feel the pain and helplessness she felt..

This show is really meaningful and it teaches alot bout life.
It is a must watch.
Especially when it is a true life story..

02 - Cryin Out Love in the Center of the World

"No temperature.."
"No weight.."
"Ashes that will be blown with the slightest wind.."
"This is, Aki.."
"Someone I have ever ever loved....."



That is the drama version.
Need me to explain more?
The short 57 seconds showed everythin.

Below will be the movie verion.


Hmmm, time for some korean ones too.
I personally dread their draggy dramas.
But if they can pack the whole idea into 2hrs, why not? xD

03 - Windstruck


I still remember catchin this movie with Inin. I didn't even know whats the synopsis like before watchin, but it turned out to be my all time favorite. We hugged endlessly after the show, you bet we cherished and loved each other so much more..

It is still by far the sweetest and saddest korean movie i ever saw.
None came close, except..

04 - A Moment to Remember


I believe the trailer explained everythin.

Hmmm, you love animals?
I seriously do.
Especially doggies..

05 - 10 Promises to My Dog


Love your dog.
10 years may just be a fraction of our time.
But, they loved and cared for us their whole life..

I have a really bad habit.

I love puttin myself in other's shoes, to feel the way they felt, to imagine the pain they went through. Yes, you bet i teared loads. I'm not ashamed to admit my face was never dry watchin all the 5 shows above..

Thats all for tonight.
Will share more next time.
Hope you peeps will enjoy.

Ciao.

Heard of Jay's latest album?

Let me share this particular song that really caught me.
(Not sure if this is the actual mtv)

周杰伦 - 说好的幸福呢


As we know, Jay has too many meaningful songs.
I personally have a favorite.
And that is..

周杰伦 - 黑色幽默


A short post today.
I promise the next will be really nice.
Since it will be bout my favorite (emo) movies..

Ciao.

Seriously, what is love?

This has been the 83953923th time i've actually asked myself. Ever since i first bled for it ages ago, the counter has been tickin. But never once i had a confident answer..

It always changes after each long chapter.

In the past, i used to think i am a lucky chap. Met some really wonderful girls, and each always so happy and smiley with me. But i was young, i was inmature. I drew blood from the very entity they called 'love'. Until the day i saw Min, until she taught me whats tears and pain..

Love is bout how much both wanted each other.

Thats what i thought. But i soon learnt the fact that no matter how much both can love one another, things may still end. My heart went dead..

Meetin Inin years later gave me hope. She showed me life can be so warm again. Then i thought, she was everythin i wanted. I still think i'm right, she is. A sweeet girl i can be at ease with, so natural, so happy. We spent everyday together, we had no conflicts in opinions, we kept no secrets..

Love is bout findin the right person.

But again, theory proven wrong. Her ex came, and she loved both of us. Ended up me givin up for her happiness. So much bout havin the right person..

When i met the 3rd (she dreads me tellin people our story), i seriously loved her loads. I cared for her, i pampered her, i spoilt her. Did so much crap i never thought i would, more than anyone else in my life. Cos i was already so tired, so sick of endin and startin again. I thought i can keep the love alive. I thought..

Love is bout lovin and acceptin the way she is.

Even her 5yo son. Haha, needless to say, turned out to be the ugliest r.s i ever had. It became my biggest regret. Hate myself for bein silly and givin in all the time. Ended up me lovin her son more than she loved me..

2 months ago, i actually met the 4th. Rena, a really sweeet, fun lovin girl. We fell in love in the funniest way. We had similarities, and most importantly, we know what each other is thinkin..

Love is bout havin someone who understands you.

How did it end? Its just a few entries back, take a peep if you would. Status differences, which includes different lifestyle and habits. We're like the richest girl with the poorest guy, got together at the wrong timin too..

So seriously, what exactly is love?

Prior to the post regardin 吴小姐 sayin "aiyo...u chg gf like chg underwear lor", does it still seem the same? I DO NOT FALL IN LOVE EASILY. So wheneva other acquintances who told me that after seein/hearin things on the surface, i'll usually ask them to eat shit and die. Ok, maybe not. But not as though they understand me at all..

As for 吴小姐, she's an important friend of 8 years.
But apparently we were busy in our life..

Feelins play a major role for me. In fact, it is all that counts. Its not like all my ex gfs were drop dead gorgeous. They're just like everyone else. Min was plump, Inin looked sweeet though, 3rd bagged with makeup, and Rena like a school girl, with class. I even had a crush on someone years older, who is short and plump, an ex-colleague. Just tryin to prove my point..

Maybe some people will start tellin me,
"Don't think too much, wait till it comes!"

But so what? Imagine the day when feelins really strike. Do i even have the confidence again? Will she be the right person? Will we last?

Or, will she even love me..?

Jewel - Foolish Games


A song to end this emo post.

You took your coat off and stood in the rain
You were always crazy like that
I watched from my window
Always felt I was outside looking in on you
You were always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair
You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care
Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather
Well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see
This is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees
These foolish games are tearing me apart
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
You were always brilliant in morning
Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee
You philosophies on art, Baroque moved you
You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar
Excuse me, think I've mistaken you for somebody else
Somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself
These foolish games are tearing me apart
You're tearing me, tearing me, tearing me apart
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
You took off your coat and stood in the rain
You were always crazy like that

Ciao.

Its been drizzlin these days..

Do you love it? You can't head out without gettin wet, be it your hair, your face, or your shoe. You can't jog, can't swim, nor can you play ball too. But hey, i love rain. Lookin out of the window, at the tiny droplets comin down from the sky, it gives me peace. Starin at people runnin across the streets tryin to avoid gettin wet, always makes me smile. When we were kids we even played in the rain, but i guess not kids these days..

But i love rain the most, is because when the droplets come and your face gets wet, it doesn't matter if you're sad. You can cry all you want, tears and rain, they look the same..

Who knows,
There may be this day,
You'll see me walkin in the rain again.

When i 1st saw 孙燕姿, it was durin poly year 1, when she was havin a autography session at bukit panjang plaza for her 1st album. That day, her singin captivated me. I was so surprised realisin she is a local much later. Till this day, i still love listenin to her songs..

害怕,
同类,
安宁.

And my fav of all, 眼泪成诗.


I took back basketball lately. God knows how crazy i was with it durin the school days! Practicin as early as 7am, till class started at 12pm, and playin with friends afterwards till lights off. All the night games durin poly years too, with PeiLai and QiWei etc. Gosh, how much i've missed those days..

But no matter how much i played, i'm still 172 since sec 2.

Been playin much recently, gettin back the feel i used to have. But neither am i as fast nor jump as high, guess my belly plays a big part ahaha. Even sprained my left 1st finger and pinkie, and they have yet to recover after so long. Argh, i'm feelin the age..

Time to show some kick ass actions!



Cool aren't they xD

Enough for today.
Shall pen more emo shit next time.
Let me end with a nice piano piece introduced by Sarally.

Yiruma - Kiss The Rain


Ciao.

Like the current song in my blog?

I can't help but repeatin it. Many thanks to my cousy Min-Gal for sendin me, its her 23rd bday yest! Same goes for Nel, 23rd today, who always get teased for comin out a day later. May them find meaningful paths down their life yaa. They are a pair of beloved cousys always..

I've been dreamin quite alot recently.

There were 3 parts of it last night. First of all, i dreamt of 2 poly friends HuiLing and JiaRui, bout them gettin ROM on the same day. Quite funny because the date is weird, and i'm not really on great terms with JiaRui already, even though we used to be buddies. Its rather disappointin how things turned out to be..

I was joggin down ECP with a beautiful doggie named Shawnie too! Maybe i'll really name my 1st doggie with the same name in future. That'll be so funny..

The weirdest of all, i was carryin two babies. They are my sons. Whats funny is i have no intention of gettin married in real life at all? Anyway there was this scene i let my aunt carry one of them, and he kept cryin. Then i rem sayin "乖, 让婆婆抱.."

I still can't figure out what it means.

I've been slackin pretty much recently. Met alot of new friends, been to alot of great places. Ever tried dinin at a outskirt of a airport, watchin both private planes and flies flyin all over the place? Well, we tried the buffalo wings there at only level two and it was already damn spicy. To think i could actually take chilli well? Imagine they offer up to level thirty..

Its called the Sunset Grill and Bar if i'm not wrong, near Seletar Airport. Try googlin bout it, should have info. No photos to show, unfortunately =]

Let me share some songs i've been learnin to sing lately.

动力火车 - 第二次分手


蕭敬騰 - 原諒我


Last but not least, a song introduced by 吴小姐.
光良 - 右手边


Havin the cravin for cyclin and singin these days!
Will be meetin Kaili this fri for ktv xD
Yet another nice oct baby hehe.

Hope someone can accompany me for cyclin too, since she's cravin for it as well. But she will never know nor willin to hang out with me, i guess. Its gonna be a dream..

Ciao.

My laptop is invaded by spyware!

Gosh. For a person who doesn't appreciate anti-virus software, i seldom gets inflicted by virus and spywares. But no matter how hard i practise, funny files still get installed in my system without me knowin. Screw those virus/spyware makers..

Well, at least my lappy is on the verge of recovery, shall not overwork it these days =P



TADA~!

A silly pic taken days back. Was at bowlin with friends, at east coast, LATE NIGHT. Notice i looked so sheepish? Ahaha, was just playin with friend's iPhone camera, i rarely camwhore anyway. And i noticed..

I LOOK LIKE A KID!

No wonder i used to get check for IDs while buyin cancer sticks for friends, or even TOTO. Tsk, my clubin days too, but those were in the past ahaha. Kinda weird, but i guess its goood to look young!

Just hope i don't act like one ahaha xD

Noticed this group of peeps who love singin. Remember the vid from Cathy i posted previously? I realised they always play together, the strummers, the beatbox, and Lydia Paek too!

Oh Lydia, simply heart her singin..
She's so random too..
Love it when she burps LOL!

Let me share this freestyle singin they had.


She's really gifted, such a great group of friends too.
Try checkin out many other vids yaa?
Search for 'Lydia Paek' =]

Another of her vid, can't hear enough!


I love music!

Ciao.