感觉早在两年前的意外后，宣布死亡..

但其实，在意外之前的一切，都是美好的回忆。那五年的岁月，除了充满了快乐的时光，也让我学习了什么是感觉、什么是爱。简直就是人生中最快乐的日子。但世事往往残酷无情..

一个人，不是懂得珍惜，就不会失去。
同样的，不是懂得爱情，就能一直继续下去。

今天的我，不是害怕失去，也不怕不能继续。而是感觉死去，一切变得僵硬。几次明明碰上了，却当做没一回事。直到身边一个个幸福了，才觉得自己很笨，一直支持她们而忽略了快乐..

但是，也许我并不是怕爱，只是宁愿等待..

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“你开心就好”
这五个字真的很深奥..
你知道吗？

Life is easy, life is hard.
Time is short, time is fast.
Relationships are simple, yet are not.

In life things you cherish doesnt mean it wont leave you, things you love the most doesnt mean you wont lose it. But in life one thing about the beauty of it is to learn to give your best, so when looking back you wont say "I wish i had done better, I've made a mistake."

We learn through relationship, we learn through hurting the ones we love most. We know its wrong yet emotions got the better of us, but admitting whats wrong and loving each other more is whats more important.

Things broken can be mended, but will never be the same pieces again. There are still times when you must learn how to let go and move on. Cause spinning around and around, hanging here and there, though you might not choose to believe in the fact, it still doesnt get you anywhere.

Just believe in what you choose, who you love, be who you wanna be, and love the ones who loves you. There are nights that makes you feel lonely and wanting company, having only the dark sky to gaze endlessly upon. But when the sun rises, warmth brings hope and makes us feel happy and a new day begins again.

Anyway, who says being human is easy in the first place.

Ciao.

Was so happy but tired last night..zonked out before I can even think of blogging =P

Met an old pal for bball in the noon. Wow 6 years of not playing is really taxing lor? Feel so old already, lazy to jump lazy to run. Still won the other kids la, though some are taller than me -.- but our madness sec school training last time is uncomparable LOL..

Sec school friends threw a party for me @ CCK Kbox that night. Had fun singing and laughing together, made lotsa noise and jokes. Initially was quite sad, because there's this person I admire, told me she couldn't make it to the party. But then halfway through she suddenly appeared right in front of my very eyes! Even brought along a cake with her. Was so dumbfounded la, my expression should be quite funny that moment. Thanks to CK too, they both planned it beforehand. Really sweet surprise..Thanks =]

Many friends think she has a temper, very 'fierce'. But to me she was never angry, its just a way she express herself. She may look hard on the outside, but deep inside, I know she's just as delicate as most of us. Someone with lotsa feelings..















My birthday cake! 1 candle only because someone say too old no need so many -.-"

Good things don't usually come alone.

Got home around 2am. Was trying to find my remote control for the lights in my room, then I saw this very HUGE white postage on my desk! The very 1st person that came into my mind, was her. I'm so happy, she surprised me once again..















The BIG BIG postage =D















Can see the words? =P















There's always a postcard in each surprise she gives.















Not many knows my favorite sweet..but she knows =]















Last but not least..















She bought me a wallet..

I am really very happy to see her present. Though I told Alison birthdays aren't bout presents, but seeing all these made my day even better. Even my brother bought me a cordless phone for my room. Bwhahahhaa. Maybe its still bout presents after all LOL =P
















My new cordless phone!

I'm really blessed to have so many sweet nice and caring people around me. I had a really meaningful 23rd birthday. Thanks for all the wishes and gifts. Thanks for everything.

Ciao.

And so the day arrived..

Was out the whole day, tiring. Went for an interview at StarHub, 99% sure I'll be selected. Though the interviewer made me wait for more than 30mins, she did give me a pleasant time. I shot her with lotsa questions, got even. Haha..

Good pal CK came to town specially for me, was quite touched. So we had dinner, walked around PS a little, and I accompanied him home. After dropping him off at Jurong, I went to meet Xx at Bishan for movie. Long long journey..

Just My Luck. Damn sweet show can? Its pretty funny too, and you can really learn how unlucky a person can be. So be glad ya, though without ample of good luck, at least you dont get bad luck all the time..

The clock struck 12 when I was on the bus home. Just sent Xx home, so was taking a journey back home alone, and it was pouring. Quite funny, no feelings this year. Its like any other day, nothing special, nothing new. Some nice friends remembered and called or smsed, really glad to have them around. Maybe its such days that we'll realise who's really nice and who's not? Haha nvm just kidding..

Whats so special bout birthdays anyway. Everyone else go around celebrating it with their friends or gfs. I don't really care, except for the time when min, inin or others will celebrate for me. But I do like surprises though, love how they can surprise me every single time..

I still feel birthdays is important in another way. Its the day I'm born, thats right. But its also the day mom suffered to bring me to life. So I dedicate today to my mom, for bringing me to this world, and bringing me up all these tiring 23 years. Thanks mommy..

Maybe I'm sad.. Sad at the fact the person I hoping to remember, didn't..

Ciao.

First of all..

Thanks for all the concerns bout mom. She's feeling much better now, today is the last day of her MC, and she'll be free from work until coming Sunday. Thank goodness..

This early noon, there was this damn BIG bee flying around in my room. It scared the highlights out of me la, appeared right in my face, nearly fell from my chair. Thought I chased it out with my pillow and I closed all my windows. But who knows this evening when I tried putting on my berms, I got freaking shocked! Lotsa soil, and 4 crawling green yucky worms!

Mom said its the bee's hive. I just wore the berms yesterday, and the windows were closed all the time till this noon. So I assumed it had worked very fast, building up the nest while my windows were still open. It must have been so sad when I closed the windows, seperating it from its hive.

Yesterday I travelled all the way down from Sembawang to SengKang, just to have a late late lunch. And the reward: Someone made me Oreo cheesecake! So happy! Favorite! =D

Time really flies.. So fast.. Friday coming soon..

Ciao.

This morning I woke up and saw my mom lying on her bed. My 1st thought was "Shit.."

She's supposed to be working on Sundays. Seeing her at home meaning something is very wrong. Its all my fault, she contracted the same illness from me..

Luckily the doctor didn't mention anything serious, only given her flu tabs, cough syrup and lousy lozenges. The MCs should do her good, giving her a few days of rest from work..

If only I had not been stubborn and visit the doc earlier..

Everytime a pal breaks up with his gf, there will be a good chance of me losing him as a friend. Because sometimes their gfs will call and confide in me instead.

Those pals of mine have either dumped them for another woman, or simply saying the cruel 'no more feelings' verdict. When they called me and I got to learn about it, I felt so ashamed of those pals. Argued with a few, lost contact with the rest. But what I gained was priceless la, right?

No idea why, but such things have been happening to me all these years. And thanks to that, I have a few understanding good buddies whom I can chat heart to heart today. Now, who says a guy and girl cannot have pure friendship? =P

Maybe I make a better buddy to confide in, than a good bf to be with. Sophia says so.

Anyway Spain won 4-0, owning match, YEAH.

I'm still coughing away, goner cough my lungs out someday.

Ciao.

I'd just finished chatting with one of my primary school friend. We weren't close at all during the 6 years in class, and weren't close at all even till today. Yet it feels so happy to chat about the good old times and having all the sweet memories coming back..

She used to stay a few blocks away from me. Surprisingly she's still able to recall seeing my mom fetching me home, though I started going home alone most of the time ever since primary 2. There's also this mama shop below my place, all 3 owners love me to bits. Used to play around the void deck with my buddies too, it was so much fun..

I was in EM1, but honestly my grades aren't something to be proud of. All I did was had fun, and mom was too busy to check on me. Thanks to my father, she has to work all the time. So a bad student like me who didn't study deserves one of the lowest scores in class. PSLE was only 229..

Heard alot about my former classmates. Medical schools, dentist, lawyers, all the high flyers. I'm not surprised. So many of my classmates went to schools like RV, Chinese High, Raffles Int. Sometimes I wonder if I'm supposed to be like them too. Obviously not, right?

1 of my classmates passed away. If you're thinking dying at the age of 23 is sad, think again. He passed away after O's. The worst part is I only get to know about it today. He was one of the brainy kids, I still remember he had 260+ for PSLE. Heard he did damn well for O's as well. So sad he had to leave us so early..

Enough of childhood.
I'm still sick and feverish.
Should be resting soon, blood shot eyes..

Ciao.

Can somebody please tell me the definition of a FRIEND?

Doesn't it vex you when you keep getting rejected or stood up? I really hate it when I tried getting them out, yet each and every single time they'll have fabulous reasons to say sorry. Worse, some simply tells you they're busy. Handling big business? Or school's so super loaded with assignments? Till the extent they can enjoy and have fun, yet unable to spare a few hours just to catch up?

For goodness sake, I did my part, I made the effort to ask. Time and time again I got disappointed, time and time again I tolerated. But what is this, my own wrong doing?

IF you made a promise to go out, MAKE SURE you do so. I seriously hate broken promises.

IF you don't wish to hang out with me in the 1st place, let me know. I'm very sure I'll NEVER bother you again.

Lets not waste each other's time and efforts.
You know who you are.
In fact there's a few.

Those who knows me will understand I do care for all my friends. If there's troubles I'll help. At times I'll send a simple 'takecare' sms. Meeting up and catching up is something I enjoy. I'm really glad most of you appreciates what I do. Thank you.

Sometimes it really shows who are the real pals who will stay by my side, and who's totally not worth the trouble.

PISSED.

When Chiuji first met Kyoko, she was already wheelchair bounded. Even though they grew to understand and love one another, but obstacles still stand in their way. Dating is restricted by steps and stairs, even family members discourage their relationship. However even though things weren’t smooth sailing, that didn't stop them from staying together..

It really takes a lot of courage to have an handicapped love..

Kyoko’s handicap wasn’t cause by accident, but by an illness. She spent years working and fulfilling her life, while waiting for her illness to get cured or worse. Especially after meeting Chiuji, her will to stay alive is at its strongest. However, reality often show us its cruel side..

When things got worse and Chiuji learnt about Kyoko’s limited time, he didn’t run away. He gave up his dreams, just to stay beside. He even chose to end his life if she was to end. Spending every last second they had, they made lotsa wonderful memories together. Right until the very end..

“You must live on..on my behalf..sorry for everything till now..thank you..” was what she last said. He didn’t cry. All he did was looking at her happy face. Her tears were still warm. That was her very last smile..

At the funeral, he volunteered to put make up on her. Her favorite face powder, lipstick, he carefully put them on, trying to make her beautiful again. He even combed her hair, like the time when she first stepped into his salon..

“Kyoko..why are you so cold..”
“Don’t ignore me..say something..”
“Smile..I made you look so beautiful..at least smile for me..”

He finally broke down and cried..

In the end, he fulfilled their shared dream. A little salon house by the seaside. On the walls are all their memories in photos, and in the house kept her favourite couch, her wheelchair, her pair of favourite high heels from him, and the little love ornament from her..

I wonder how much pain it feels to lose someone..
I wonder how much strength it takes to hold back the tears..
I wonder if I ever have the courage to face my love..and put on makeup for her..

It is really very sad to lose someone. Though people always stupidly say “Aiya com’on lah this is just a freaking fictional drama”, but how many will realise such shows are actually part of the reality and life? Must is always be the last moment, when they are on the verge of losing their love ones, then they will become so regretful, thinking how stupid they were not to cherish?

Its time to wake up.. If you're still dreaming away..

Anyway, Korean dramas are real time wasters with similar plots and absurd stories. Taiwan dramas only show you the sweetest stuff with the cutest girls and the smartest boys. But Japanese dramas always contain so much meanings and feelings in life..

Very obvious what my favorite type of drama is.

Typed too much for tonight I guess.

Ciao.

Was out with Airisi today, haven't met her for ages.

Have been on the phone with her recently, had fun and laughter. So we decided to meet up for shopping since it was her day off. At first we went Suntec, hunting her watches and handicraft stuff, but couldn't find any. We had lunch @ Marche, sambal stingray and softshell crab! But it was only like the 2nd time I ate there, quite pathetic isn't it?

After lunch we went Bugis, and she bought the watch for $185. Quite a birthday gift for some guy I must say, but she kept refusing the idea of her liking him whenever I tried poking my nose around. Oh well..

Later on we ended up @ Orchard, walking around trying to do some shopping. But my shopping mood was so bad today, I couldn't find anything that suits my taste. Seems to me she doesn't like to have someone to shop with her as well, saying its weird I kept following her while she's looking at her stuff. Anyway I think things ended up pretty badly and we splited in the end, she going home via cab, while I walked to the MRT alone..

Perhaps we just don't click when it comes to shopping. Felt so sorry dragging her around aimlessly, it must have been rather boring. Its like so weird that nothing comes to my brain today, she have to keep deciding places to go and stuff. Doubt she'll go shopping with me again. Failed badly..

The same scenario actually happened days before too. Was out for beer and lunch @ Brewerks with a few army pals. In the beginning we had fun eating and chatting and drinking. But when lunch ended, you see 4 big man walking around aimlessly in town, trying to find things to do. Ended up heading home at the end too. It was like SO BORING..

Is it me or..?

Anyway I realised there are many places I have not been to before. Even town area looks so unfamiliar at times. Have I stayed home too much? Honestly my circle of friends have been shrinking at a pretty fast pace ever since army days. Think its time for me to get friendly again? Going out with her today really enlightened me quite abit..

So, who wanna date me out nowadays?
Hint: I wanna watch She's The Man.

Ciao.

Last night was such a disappointment..

Even though it was hot. Even though the food sucks. Even though it was so cramp. At least the sight of my old friends was worth all the troubles. But, how come only 8 of us showed up?

Supposed to have a few more, have no idea why they didn't turn up in the end. Shy to meet their fellow classmates after 7 years? Or just simply couldn't be bothered? I'm not too sure. But I'm just very disappointed..

Supposed to take lotsa photos, but took none with my phone in the end. Had a few shots with teachers and friends though, with their cameras. Hopefully I'll get to see them..

Felt so lost at home last night, moodswing. Maybe because of too many sad things and disappointments recently. Went crazy and took 2 pics of myself. YES, I took photos of myself. Unbelievable isn't it? Sun goner rise from another side. But ya, here they are.





























2nd pic look silly. But who cares.

Introduced a few friends to watch '1 Litre of Tears' recently. I'm glad they get to watch it, because I feel it will be a good lesson in life. Cherish, determination, family, love. Ofcourse, not all humans have feelings. Some people tend to watch it with emotions, while some simply laugh at jokes, wonder about the plot, but never think of the meanings. Watch for the sake of watching huh..

I dare say those who didn't feel any touched, emotional, or learnt any meanings from the show, they are not any close to understanding me at all..

But who cares really..

Ciao.

Something weird happened days back..

Was chatting with Alison when suddenly my phone rang. "Hello, is this MacDonalds?"

-.-" <-- instant reaction

How could someone be silly enough to call my house and ask for Mac? The number isn't even close! When I said no, that guy can still give a big laugh and hang up. Made me fuming mad..

The weirdest part is, just when I'm answering the call, Alison's phone rang too. "Hello, may I speak to Mohammad Ali?"

-____- <-- ...

Coincidental? Its like wth, people love to give prank calls nowadays? All the pea brains.. ROAR!

Anyway was chatting halfway, then Mom came in and saw me fidgeting with my camera. She just posed out of the blue, and I took the pic almost instinctively..


Isn't she sweet? My Mommy ok!

That night, I received a call from someone I least expected to call. It was like, we met 5 years ago, and had never chatted once on the phone? Yet that night we spent hours on the phone, happily chatting away. Fate is sometimes like a kid, who loves to play around..

Tonight, I'm going for my sec sch reunion dinner. My school will be demolished soon, and this will be the last dinner there. A place full of memories, very sad that it is going away. Will take lotsa photos. Will look at spots I used to play at. Will miss my school..

Can't think of anymore to type..

Ciao.