Have been sick for days..

Were so sick after xmas eve i spent the last few days in bed. Saw the doc, told me i'm havin flu and throat infection, threw me antibiotics and lotsa pills to swallow. Been chewin on those, only to make myself so weak and drowsy. So, conclusion, after 2 days OFF and 2 days MC, i'm still sick! =/

Biao mei have been so nice to me. Knowin i'm sick and home alone, she came over the other day and we cooked dinner together. We've been playin monopoly too! Haha our results now is 1 Win 1 Lose! I'm so reminded of our younger days when me and cousins were always together. I so adore my biao mei lor. I wish she'll be happy and fine for life..

Very sweet of those who were concerned bout me the last few days. Really appreciate all the care from you all. What can i do without you friends? Thanks! ^^

Liv's dad passed away.. I pray she'll be strong and fine..

Ciao.

24th Dec.
Xmas Eve.
9:52pm.

I'm sick.
I'm tired.
I'm still in my office.

Workin till 11 tonight.
Not going any parties.
Not celebratin with friends.

I'll be alone tonight.

"How did i spent xmas years back?" i wondered.

2005 was a festival of break ups. 7 friends of mine ditched or got ditched by their jerks durin that period. So apparently i was way very busy that time, recalled havin dinner somewhere and didn't really countdown that night. I bet few of you still remember, especially if you are 1 of them =P

2004 wasn't better. Broke up with inin at Oct. Went to a friend's chalet, drank too much, and got wasted. But i remembered Cherie came down to meet me at downtown east, very sweet of her. I wonder if she reads my blog.

2003, if i'm not wrong, i went clubbin with my OETI peeps. Xx joined me and my army friends as her jerk was away in taiwan that time. Drank alot, danced alot, the usual clubbin scenes you'll see. Thats bout it.

Can't really remember the rest..

Been thinkin too much recently. Haven't been restin much. Couldn't catch a wink. Dark rings startin to appear. Pimples too. Gettin fairer and fairer. Think i goner look like drug addicts soon.

I tend to picture things too perfectly each time. Hopin for this, hopin for that. Its really very tiring. But isn't it really nice and sweet, if someone come to my workplace right now, asked me down to the lobby, surprise me with my xmas gift, plus a hug and kiss?

Well, i'm not really referrin to anybody.
Maybe it just struck my mind.

Messy Xmas everybody`

Xmas is near.

So?

Few weeks back i thought its goner be a beautiful blissful 25th. Who could have predicted that things will turn out to be the way it is? But i was too naive and rather believin in fairytales, can't really blame anyone else..

Anyway.. Bad news to my dear friends.. I havent did any xmas shoppin yet.. LOL..

Ho Ho Ho`

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There are many kinds of 'friends' in this world.

Some will accompany you till the end of the world. Some can't even stand 5 mins of your presence. Some can have all the fun in the world with you, but can't stand you the moment you cry. Some can share with you all your sorrow, but other than whinin there's absolutely nothin else. The list goes on and on and on..

The kind of friend i admire the most, is not someone who can be with you through all the thick and thin. Nor does he/she have to hear me whine all the time, or share my joy. Definitely doesn't have to be physically with me, doesn't have to be someone who hangs out with me all the time.

What i really yearn for, is a friend, who can 心谈心.

What do i mean by that? Someone whom i can talk heart to heart with. 3 very simple chinese words, yet its the most difficult to come by. Its really very rare to find someone in your life who can really understands you well. Fate ba?

I'm really fortunate to have all you nice friends around. All your encouragements, all your care, they make me go on. Thanks.

Ciao.

范逸臣 - 在这里分手

你的眼神渐渐地空洞
笑容僵得如此冰冻
你什么都不说
明明曾经那样深爱
为什么无法停止一再伤害
也许是习惯太久
于是我们忘记温柔
如果散能好过现在
或许该选择要笑着离开

让我们在这里分手
在还来得及的时候
别哭了
这一次说好了要勇敢不再回头
让我们在这里分手
保存爱最后的自由
原谅我
来不及完成我
对你做的承诺

双手握着的美梦太重
幸福变得太过讽刺
你的心碎我懂
剩下我最后的奢求
只要能停止不断上演的痛

让我们在这里分手
在还来得及的时候
别哭了
这一次说好了要勇敢不再回头
让我们在这里分手
留下爱最美的时候
原谅我
我已经无力再
让你拥有快乐

看你强忍泪水我也不好过
就让我放开我的手

让我们在这里分手
在还来得及的时候
别哭了
这一次说好了要勇敢不再回头
让我们在这里分手
保存爱最后的自由
原谅我
来不及完成我
对你做的承诺

让我们在这里分手
也许能少一点刺痛
无法陪你再走

Once again, been pretty busy..

Work had been taxin last 2 weeks. Just settled 6 consecutive days of noon shifts, and was sloggin another 5 days before last sunday. So it was like 11 days and only 1 off in between? But hey, i'm havin my long weekend! Sun and Mon goner be fun` =D

Goner be jobless soon though. My dept is closin end of Jan 07, and i'm not plannin to shift. My records aren't pretty in the 1st place. So i guess its time to move on..

Lobangs anyone?

Been brain stormin nowadays, came up with few pretty neat ideas. Definitely workable, but, am a total stranger in the field. But where am i goner find success without even venturin? Shall work on my pen and paper and expect some actions soon..

Early xmas present from MissTan, once again surprised me with another big parcel and packet of heart candies. Thanks alot mate, truely appreciates it. But hope you aren't expectin anythin BIG in return! Hohoho` =P

Everybody's askin why i didn't mention a darn bit bout my SO. Oh well. The very last time we crossed road was like 3 years before. Feelins were lingerin ever since, never once forgotten. Yup, like a few of my pals who already knew, she is someone from my past. So now, 3 years later, she came back, and i'm really hopin things will work. Its goner be like a dream comin true. As crazy as it goes, its goner be a fairytale if so..

Yet i fear everything will just burst like bubble..

I was never the confident guy. Not after all the shit i'd crawled through in my life. I really like her i swear, but there's this feelin of uneasiness i have. I'm always the kamikaze type, going all out with everything i got. Always blowin myself up to bits..

That explains why i always sucks @ Bomber Man?

A nice song to share with you.
Listen with the lyrics and you'll understand.

张敬轩/王菀之 - 随你

之：
一個人的回憶
原來可以填滿空虛的心靈
你的快樂可以
燃亮我暗淡的日子
只要你喜歡就可以
我不管理智不理智
今天開始不再一起數星星

之：
一個人的委屈
原來可以換兩個人的幸福
(軒：我還愛你)

之：
我的離開可以
為你鋪張新的道路
(軒：和你一起)

之：
只要你喜歡就可以
我不理會我自己
(軒：她和你)

之：
今天開始她和你永不分離
(軒：無法相比)

之：
愛兩個人很深愛
再多就太無奈
(軒：曾經我們是如此的深愛)

之：
記得你說
兩個人都可愛
你想得太精彩
(軒：朝夕互相依賴)

之：
如果我不能將你整個擁入懷
(軒：怎可能就此離開)

之：
情願你全心接受她的愛
(軒：彼此都受傷害)

之：
讓我抱著我自己一個發呆

軒：
我跟她是誤會
愛你的心從沒有一刻偏移
真愛不說道理
只說明我的心意

之：
只要你喜歡就可以
我習慣沒有我自己
陽光和空氣你全部帶走
(軒：我根本不會走)

之：
我們就此分手
(軒：不要就此分手)

之：
只可惜愛
兩個人變無奈
再拖只有悲哀
(軒：怎麼不相信我全心為你)

之：
既然你說
兩個人都可愛
乾脆與她精彩
(軒：看著我的眼睛還那麼在乎你)

之：
如果我不能將你整個擁入懷
(軒：不想失去你的溫柔)

之：
情願你全心接受她的愛
(軒：不准你說要走就走)

之：
愛到白頭

軒：
一生一世手牽手

之：
時間跟眼淚溜走

之：
我獨自承受
(軒：別走)

之：
兩個人的愛情
原來不一定要美麗的結局
一個人在這裡

軒/之：
靜靜的回憶

After all these years of missing her wondering if she's fine..

Now she's back in my life..

And i know if i let her slip away again this time i'll regret for life..

We aren't sure of our future but at least now there's a chance to try..

Nobody can replace her in my heart don't ask me why..

She's my one and only BaoBei for sure our feelins had never died..

You're like a beautifully crafted vessel, like a shinin pearl in the wild Mediterranean.

Heavy storm gathered and the waves rough, your delicate hull couldn't withstand the bad weather.

Bruised and battled you drifted, cried out in joy when a harbour was finally sighted.

Repairs were almost immediate, healin both your heart and your soul.

In no time, you were a perfect masterpiece again.

.
.
.

And settin sail once more, would only be a matter of time..

Bored as usual..
In my office..
11pm to 8am..

Realised i haven been to any movies since my last show 'DeathNote'. Gave a thought bout what i wanna watch nowadays.

- Sinkin of Japan
- The Prestige
- The Departed
- Silk

Anybody's interested?
1st come 1st serve` =P

Ciao.

I just wanna ask one question..

There are some friends you're eager to meet up. Yet they can tell you they're too busy, its hard to promise?

1 week 7 days.
5 days workin 8 hours.
2 days free.

Is it really that difficult to spare 2 hours for a meal?

I'm really very dissappointed..

I treated them as friends.. Did they?

Fine..
I told myself..
Fine..

I've given some serious thoughts while workin hard not to fall asleep in office..

The TOP 10 individuals i wanna sing Ktv with right now:

1. 吴小姐! Its so difficult to get you out! =/
2. MissTan! Always wanted to hear her sing!
3. JingWen, but i doubt she can..
4. Nelson, my cousin whom i haven seen for months since he's botak..
5. Alicia, my dear friend, haven seen for months too..
6. Keng, kinda miss the crazy 80+ song list LOL.
7. Janice, wow how long was it since our last K with Nelson?
8. Gelynn, wow even longer since we last sung?
9. Michael, he says he sings like 曹格 -.-"
10. Silvia and co, i promised a treat after her papers. =]

Its really very obvious.. That i really have nothin better to do.. Lol..

Ciao.

Last night was J's birthday..

And we had a crazy time! That included all the cake throwin, eggs smashin, flour pourin, bwahhahahahha! But ya, not forgettin the police chasin, I.C copyin, area cleanin, Zzz..

But what matter most is the birthday girl really enjoyed herself! =D

We actually ambushed @ her workplace in the beginning. Everyone acted to be 'busy' or 'had plans' when she ask some of us out for supper (she didn't jio me though..). So disappointedly someone thought she was going to be alone for the night. But hey when the lift door opened, there was this very nice birthday cake right in front of her! And everyone was singing Happy Birthday haha. The smile of her face at that moment, really unforgetable..

After the surprise we made our way to 1 of the HDB blocks near to her place and started our showdown hehe..

Anyway by the time i reached home it was already 5am. So after i took a bath and bummed around for awhile, off i went for work. Correct, right now 'm typin in the office yawnin away..

What i really need now is a nice warm cup of fragrant aromatic COFFEE..

Ciao.

Even Xx is headin Melbourne for good..
End of 2007..
Though happy for her..
But why must everyone be leavin me..

I'm typin away in my office right now..

Recently things have been too crazy for me to ignore. Too much to type. And i couldn't be bothered. Just that my mood have been too low for me to do anything. Everything seem so meaningless and pointless till the fact i don't even feel like headin out with my colleauges anymore..

I even bashed up someone badly few days back.. But he truefully deserves it.. For what he had done to my friend..

No matter how much i can remember bout what Charis told me, i still can't make my days happy. I keep tellin people to takecare and cheerup, but i can't even pass my own stage. There's just nothin for me to be happy bout. I felt that i've really let Charis down..

What have happened to me? Because of what happened in the past, have i changed so much? Where was the cheerful me durin poly years? Where was the happy go lucky Alan that used to be surrounded by so many friends? Were all those nothin but illusions?

For every one i have told my past to, other than those 'wow' reactions who mentioned the word 'dramatic', which few can really feel the pain i went through durin the ordeal? Who can really understand the aftermath i have gone through all those years durin my army life? For those whom i told bout me bein a Pes A clerk, how many truely understand the reason behind?

How many in this world truely understood me? MinMin? Jacq? Inin doesn't understood me at all durin our time together, though i was really happy with her. Even mom doesn't understand me well though we've gone through thick and thin for 23years. So who's next?

I'm not broodin over my past..
I'm just sad at the fact..
I've changed so much..
And nobody understands me anymore..
I'm full of moodswings and temper nowadays..
Stay away..

Maybe i'll just stop whinin soon..

Ciao.

Recently uploaded ALOT of photos to my friendster.

Free go take a look lor.

http://www.friendster.com/zuko

Nan de i will take pics.. haha`

Ciao.

Was @ Woodlands Partyworld with my colleauge Keng.

Non stop 4 hours of singin yellin shoutin rappin laughin wadeva you name it. Imagine 80 over songs in our list within the 1st hour waitin to be sung, and we only managed to clear till 30+ ejectin halfway throughout each and every song. Had a crazy fun time!

Watchin 天国的嫁衣 made me think alot.

1st of all, 王心凌 wasn't as detestable as i had imagined. The role she played really understands other people's heart very well. Obviously such a person doesn't really exist in our world, but yup dramas always make people imagine bout perfect things. "If only...bla bla bla", i'm so sick of hearin it..

2ndly, the love and r/s in this show is kinda common in real life. For eg, 明道 is the perfect guy, treatin 王心凌 as good as you can imagine. However she simply couldn't feel anythin for him, and God knows why she fell in love with the 'Rich Man' (can't be bothered with his name, heard he's a SG model). So end up 明道 kept helpin 王心凌 with her r/s with 'Rich Man', while sufferin all the pain of givin away his own sweet love, alone. And the r/s between 王心凌 and 'Rich Man' is foreva on the rocks..

Doesn't the situation sounds awfully familiar? 99% of you peeps must have friends or whoever sufferin from the same story. If you're under the 1% group then either you're lucky or you're just not that sociable haha..

Anyway enough of the show. I'm startin to get tired of the plot, though i'll love to watch more of 王心凌. She's really damn sweet (her character in the show) and i just can't help but notice her expressions and body languages lol..

Sometimes..
你最想沟通的人.. 却和你沟通不了..
你最想见的人.. 却见不到..
Its really very disheartenin..

Ciao.

How will you feel when a good friend cries in front of you?

Will you be shocked, not knowin what to do?

Will you laugh and smile, act like a clown?

Or will you be embarrassed, because everyone's lookin at you two?

For me, its none of the above..

When i saw tears comin down KaiLi's cheeks just now, my heart cracked..

Sometimes, you just have the urge to kill every single bastard livin in this world..

If only God is takin a rest and i'm Alan Almighty, i'll definitely save my poor friend from all these stupid heartbreaks..

Irritating arrogant customers..
Entertainin a friend's temper..
And seein KaiLi's tears..

Yet another stupid day..

Ciao.

This is one of the nice songs i've been listenin to.

歌手：江美琪 / 光良

我曾深刻体会
对爱感到胆怯
还好有懂我的你给我安慰

看你失落的脸
又再为爱憔悴
我心痛的感觉竟如此的强烈

眼角的泪 它给过谁
伤透了心 也无所谓
我会愿意静静地陪在你身边

如果说爱 已不可为
那我宁愿 藏心里面
其实我害怕会失去你的感觉

怎么会开始对你有了感觉
又深怕朋友默契转身不见
矛盾着犹豫不决
没准备跨越爱的界线

怎么会开始对你有了感觉
深陷朋友恋人之间的危险
进与退被爱包围
谁犯规都狼狈
谁能解围
让一切完美

What a misty and moonless 中秋节..

I can still remember the full moon 2 years ago. Was @ Chinese Garden with inin as it was the holdin Disney theme lantern exhibition. Supposed to bring Ryan (her nephew) along, but ended up with just the two of us. We had already broke up by then, just fulfilling the very last promise we made together..

Yesterday was quite a mess. Supposed to visit Chinese Garden lantern exhibition with YanPing in the evenin, but seems like her new job is full of challenges, she was flooded with OT. Wanted to wait for her after work, at least we can have a peep at the full moon together. But she chose to give up..

As YanPing informed me the night before she couldn't make it for 中秋节, i had decided to join my colleagues for Sentosa. The problem is i was workin till 1am the day before, and i joined Michael for supper and beer and had a great heart chat. By the time i was home it was already 4am plus. As much as i intended to stay awake and meet Jean at 8am, by the time i realised what was going on, the sun was shinin on my butt! When i look at my hp, wow it was 2pm. Apparently i dozed off while sittin on my bed..

Met JiaWen @ PS around 4pm, we agreed to have Haagen Dazs! But to our disappointment there weren't any of its restaurant in town. We went Far East Plaza instead, searchin for this very nice Tinkerbell neckie she mentioned. But again we were disappointed! Walked round and round on the 2nd and 3rd floor enterin each and every accessory shop, there wasn't any Tinkerbell at all..

Junction 8 was our next destination because of this cosy Haagen Dazs restaurant we recalled. We had Fondue! Wonderin what it is? Hmmm let me try to explain.. 3 scoops of coffee, 3 scoops of raspberry, 4 scoops of chocolate, 4 scoops of peanuts, 3 choco love letters, 2 choco cookies, few pieces of cheese cake, lotsa stawberry apple and banana fruits, and a big tub of belgian hot chocolate. SINFUL! Thats the only word i can use to describe..

World Trade Centre is a good show. Though it may not be compared to the exact disaster happened on 9/11 5 years ago, but the story brought on screen was heart wrenchin enough. Imagine only 20 person were dug out throughout the whole ordeal. The rest were lost foreva, remained only in the memories of their love ones..

There was this part of the show i was really deeply touched. When Nicholas Cage was dyin, buried under tons of rubbles, memories of his wife went through his mind. When he was finally rescued from hell, the moment he saw his wife at the hospital, he broke into tears. He told her 1 sentence. "You..kept..me..alive..."

It was hazy the whole day. Night was worse, couldn't see a thing in the sky. Even the beautiful full moon went missing. What a great way to spend 中秋节..

Ciao.

Been listenin to 张信哲's new album.
There are a few songs, 越听越好听.
Below is a song, may not sound superbly nice, but i just feel so attached to the lyrics.

张信哲 - 你应该飞的

相爱的途中慢慢遗失了什么
最初的感动到了最后没结果
越努力越有无力的感受
我们也只好笑得很寂寞
怕违背承诺勉强一起才是错
也许你等的是我放开你的手
情人不要的就算给再多
也不是温柔只是沉重

你应该飞的别管我
好遗憾我没有你要的彩虹
可是我愿意为你从此变成风
吹干你翅膀前往远方的天空

你应该飞的别哭了
谁知道以后我不会幸福呢
有时候分手不是谁把谁丢了
反而像送给彼此宝贵的什么

Ciao.

I'm down with flu..

How i wish there's someone willin to cook me porridge.. Then i can stay in bed while she attends to my evey need.. Havin her by my side i'll be so happy.. Won't even mind havin flu for many many days..

Wow.. If she cook soup for me.. Even better..

Dreamin away..

Ciao.

Decisions were never easy i believe..

Was at buddy's mom's pub last night to chill out. Had a great laugh crappin with the guys. While the drinks were rushin down my throat, my mind was spinnin. Aren't drunk, just going through a load of things. Had a quiet peaceful stroll alone near my place before headin home. Finally, my mind had settled..

First of all, i'm sorry for decidin without her consent. Told Ir we are just goner be friends. We kinda lack the spark that will blaze us right to the max. Yes, there were happy moments, but somethin is missin. Can't really describe what, just a feelin, somethin isn't right. To be frank, i'm not sure if i'm suitable for her, but she definitely won't feel happy with me. I'm not the kind of guy who can make her laugh and smile, like her bees. Am tired of hearin the word 'tryin', am not interested at all. Naive i might be, but please let my next flame be someone i can really settle down with for the rest of our lives..

Secondly, i'm givin up. J has her boy in her mind, i'm nowhere near. Yes, feelins for her won't just get blown away by the breeze, i'm still concern and worried in any ways i should be. But i'm pretty sure she'll be fine, she's goner have a happy life. Let me be the good friend she can have, with all the usual care and concern she's obliged to receive. I'll pray she'll be smilin forever..

So, conclusion, i still prefer being single!
Hahaha..

Who knows, there might be another 'the one' whom i seek out there somewhere.

Someone whom i can click emotionally..
Someone whom will be happy with me for eternity..

Ciao.

Just bought a CYMA watch worth SGD800 bucks days back. 20% discount so its SGD640. Call me crazy if you want but i love it. Bought lotsa clothes too. My next target: shoes and bags.

爱人还是被爱?

This question has been lingering on my mind for a very long time. Its kinda like asking if the world have chicken or egg first. Every dear friend i asked gave me no definite answers. Follow your heart, wait for her, try it out, believe in fate, bla bla bla bla bla. Someone even have the cheek to tell me to wait for her, while try it out with someone else..

Bro, wtf? lol -.-"

Remember some previous posts ago i mentioned bout rejecting my dear friend P and hurted her alot? Well things have been back to normal nowadays and we're still good friends. But she's still having her problems and there's nothing much i can do for her other than giving her all the support she needs..

I have a close friend, Ir, whose ex-bf was my ex-buddy. She caught him having other girls outside, and one day finally she couldn't take things anymore, she broke up with him. And because he's such a bastard, i can't believe we used to be good buddies. End up losing contact with him for years. So now Ir and i became good friends instead. The problem now, i think she's in love with me..

She's a very sweet person, always able to make her own decisions, a very dependable person. She's very serious with work, very capable. In fact she's someone i really admire and respect. She's like honey too, always ALWAYS attracting lotsa bees. In fact any guy who come across her in their life will usually fall in love with her should they be in contact often. Do not ask me why, that is the way how things are going..

One day she simply asked if i like her or not. She hinted she wanted to try it out with me. I was really very shocked. She loves chatting with me on the phone, thats what she claimed. Saying i'm a nice guy, but i know i really am not. She's the one who came to my place and brought me to the doc when i was sick weeks ago. I was really touched by her care that time. Nowadays i'm starting to get jealous of her bees. This have never ever happened before..

The girl on my mind, J, we haven been on good terms nowadays. I did something stupid, and kinda regretted. Its almost impossible for us to be together, yes i know. But somehow i just love her, wanna see her happy, and just feel like waiting for the impossible. I know i'm wasting time, yet..

So now. That question. I need an answer..

Or maybe i should just wait for someone i will like to show up again..

Ciao.

有人问我:

追着梦想而痛苦..
还是学着放弃而活得没意义..
哪一条路比较正确..

其实..
并不是选择哪一条路正确..
而是选择哪一条路.. 你才不会后悔..

这就是我的答案..

你的眼泪让我清醒..

我不再犹豫..

爱上了你别无选择..

我的心已定..

就算一辈子不能站在一起..

我也决定在你背后关心..

就算要我永远当你的影子..

看你幸福..看你快乐..我也愿意..

以我自己的方式保护着你..

谁说爱一个人一定要在一起..

你的笑容就是给予我最好的回忆..

My silly partner forced me to do this silly thing during work..

Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head, without reading the questions below.

1. HuiXin
2. Jean Liew
3. Chiew Keng
4. Dan
5. Bryan
6. JingRhui
7. James
8. Michael
9. Pris
10. Jean Lum
11. Jason
12. Nura
13. WeeWee
14. Moneca
15. Bivi
16. LiLian
17. Jagjit
18. Kenny
19. JunMin
20. Winnie

How did you meet no.14?
First met her during my interview. Well, apparently she is my BOSS!

What would you do if you never met no.1?
I'll live a better life =D

What would you do if no.20 and no.9 dated?
Wow... that will be entertaining...

Did you ever like no.19?
Yeah why not, she's a cute funny friend LOL

Would no.6 and no.17 make a good couple?
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Describe no.3.
Fun loving, Out going, LOVE KTV!!!

Do you think no.8 is attractive?
Over my dead body.....

Tell me something about No. 7.
He was someone i used to hate most......during BMT.... he's a PTI

Do you know any of 12's family?
Nope, but they should be as nice as her! =D

What is no.8's favorite?
Girls......... what else........LOL

What language does no.15 speak?
English and Malay

Who is no.9 going out with?
Always seen with LiLian, and maybe her bf? keke

How old is no.16 now? Hahahaha thats easy 23 same as me!!

When was the last time you talked to no.13?
Awhile ago lor, when she bought me tea =D

Who's no.2's favorite band/singer?
She love the song "我可以忍受"

Would you date no.4?
Why not? my good brother leh keke

Would you date no.7? Hahahahaha.. for bball match maybe.. and definitely supper too.. but we are both GUYS

Is No 15 single?
Married with kids

What's no. 10's last name?
Jean Lum's last name..... Lum lor!

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with no.18?
Unless i turn gay.... which wont happen in a million years

Which school does no.3 go to?
Used to be Ngee Ann Poly.. now not studying liao lor

What's your favorite thing about no.5?
He will be there when his friends need him

Have you seen no.1 naked?
HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haven't been postin.. As usual..

So what have been happenin nowadays? Went MoMo twice. A few mahjong session. Lotsa supper. But no KTV!! Thats bout it i guess..

Oh ya forgot to mention, went ICA to make my passport recently. Going Genting this coming weekend and most prob Bangkok too next october. Wantin to go Taiwan end of year, but it has been lotsa talk but no plans. Sad..

Work's fine too. In fact i'm bloggin in my office again. Some of my colleagues have left though. "People wont cherish till they lose" - this phrase is so true. Its a kind of fate that we became colleagues in the 1st place. I'll miss them lotsa..

I'm starting to take photos again. No longer the person who shun cameras or video recorders at 1st sight. No longer the person who once burnt all his photos from sec school onwards. I'm changing. Is it good news..or bad?

Some people mentioned i keep referrin back to my old past, and its not good. They say i keep lingerin on to my sad memories and couldn't move on. But is that true? I admit i was affected, but who won't? I'm no longer broodin over the incidents since a very long time ago. In fact i didn't regret over anything. Like what JingWen's msn nick says, people only learn from what they have been through (something similar)..

But i realised i really have no confidence for love. My heart was put to test again recently, but i couldn't make a decision. My heart waivered, but i hesistated. Maybe its not love in the 1st place. Maybe its the way i care. Maybe.. Maybe..

But there have been someone in my mind all along. Someone too blur to realise. I really care for her, i guess. Because when she's sick i'm worried. Because when she's sad i'm sad. Because when she's happy i'm smiling. Because when she's not around i'll frown. So am i really in love?

Even if i really am..

It'll be just 1 sided..

Ciao.

Haven't been in the pink of health recently..

Especially after the recent Sentosa trip. Did night shift the day before, went to the beach straight and had a whole day of fun. If you think i'm crazy, i went for night shift straight after dinner again! Woohoo imagine 48 hours straight without sleep, and a whole day of sweatin and tannin. I was like coolin down my red hot skin in the aircon office the whole night, dozin off every now and then..

Flu and fever came soon after. As i'm typin right now, i'm coughin in my office still. Last night was pretty miserable, tossed and turned in my bed, feverish and throat itchin the whole night. Didn't sleep well at all..

Took doc's med before i came to work, who knows i'm allergic to the stupid runny nose tablets, and my face swell like a pighead! My eyes became blood shot (as usual) and my face was like so hideous. Apparently i'm scarin everyone @ StarHub Haw Par, i seriously hope they won't recognise who i am..

Hate to be sick. Especially without someone by my side. Hope i'll get well soon, so the activities will come soon again..

I wanna go 4 ma lu pray pray..
Have been down on happiness and luck..

Ciao.

I hurted someone real bad recently..

P, she's been a very special friend of mine for 6 years. Seein her grow up from a sec school little girl to a mature and pretty undergrad, its a kind of fate that brings us together in the first place. She's kind caring and understanding, the kind of sweet girl who deserves a really nice guy. Not me..

Perhaps i treasure our friendship more than anything else, i broke her heart. We really had a great time together, but i simply couldn't commit. The feelin just isn't right. I have made things clear, and hopefully we'll both stop bein so confused anymore..

There's this girl on my mind..

J, though she aren't the exact reason why i didn't accept my friend, but i have fallen deep for this girl. She didn't really gave me a very good 1st impression, but funny how i find out she's actually the one i seek. We just seem to click emotionally, sharin the same kind of feelin towards things. I can feel it whenever she's down or sad, even if she puts on a smile for disguise..

She's in love with her boy.. Though the guy didn't treat her good, she's still so nice towards him, always givin in.. But i'm very sure there'll be a point when she couldn't take it anymore and burst.. I'm not expectin anything.. But when that day comes.. I wish i have the means to look over her and take care of her.. Dote on her the way she have always yearn for.. Even as a friend..

Seein her happy is enough for me.. I guess..

Ciao.

Went to The Picturehouse today!

Met up with Phyllis after work, had a stroll around and shared some hotdog and nachos before we headed for 龙虎门..

Other than a typical plot, borin draggy scenes, unsatisfactory ending, its not that bad? Its rather funny sometimes, and omgosh they have nice handphones! Kinda touching when the (sexy) lady died in place of Donnie Yen and he's lying there helplessly looking at her. The floor breaking apart and falling into the water part is very silly though..

What amused me most bout this show is Nicholas doing a ankle smash w/o stuntman! Oh my was rather amazed he's so flexible. The fighting at the beginning were great, my blood boiling watching the moves. Donnie Yen too! I love his moves since a long time ago la =D

There were also some sudden scenes la. Phyllis was excited at 1 of the scenes, she hit me instinctly in my tummy. Good reaction huh..

The ending.. Speechless.. Last boss just die like that.. And abit sian Nicholas and Shawn abit extra.. And Donnie single-handledly finish off the boss.. I accidently laughed out when he mentioned the skill Donnie used was 降龙十八掌.. can't they be more creative..

After the show we went to shop abit. Bought this Adidas black polo tee for 45 bucks. Not sure to be happy or to regret. Mixed feelings. I kinda like it. She mentioned i look nice on it too. Oh well..

Goner do some OT tomorrow 0800-2300. Aug 9th goner be double pay too. Hope i'll get almost 5k paycheck on my next payday. Weeeee..

Ciao.

Sorry bout the lack of entries recently..

Have been busy with work and flu. Seems like my body is breakin down soon with the frequent changes of workin shifts. Oh my am i really gettin old? Used to be countless sleepless nights before i can really feel the kick, and nowadays its like half a day and i'm damn dozin off already? Oh gosh..

Bein down with flu brings back lotsa memories. How someone will insanely rush back to my place in the middle of school and show me that worried face. How she will change wet towels for me and stayed with me the whole day. Same when she was down with fever and insisted on comin to my place, ended up changin wet towels for her the whole night through till i dozed off. Those are my wonderful memories for keepin.. =]

Realised there isn't anyone who will be worried anymore.. Needless to say changin wet towels..

Have not been in the best of moods. No particular reason, just feelin down. Yeah, the moody quiet me is back. Back to my old cosy shell once again..

Ciao.

I'm so tired!! ARGH..

Sat was my off day, woke up rather early that day, went for a jog. The whole noon i was online browsin through stuff and chattin with KaiLi, until evenin i ran along to Dan's place for mahjong with my colleagues.

We played 10-20cents only, for the kick of it. Dan is the professional leh, he always have his usual game with khakis every weekend. The rest of us are like lambs to the slaughter hahaha. But that night i think my lucky star was shinin brightly in the sky la, i kept winnin and winnin! Made alot of mistakes too, so angry with myself.

This section if for those who know mahjong:
Got 1 game, the moment i open my tiles, wow very red! Only 2 'tong' and 2 'north', the rest are all 'wan zi'! And they're so nicely in order somemore! But i too sucks la, friend threw 'north' early in the game i forgot to 'pong'. Then since i missed out the 3rd 'north' i should throw away my own 'north' and 'tong' tiles, but i didn't! I keep getting '9 wan' but i threw them away! Omgosh i really dunno what i was doing until the game finish without me winnin, and Dan's Gramps was like laughin at me playin that round. Awww felt so paisei and stupid.. *bang wall*

Okay back to the story.

We were supposed to play until 11+ only, Bryan and i workin the next mornin. But then we were like reluctant to stop, so out of spur, we decided to continue! Played 4 rounds straight until almost 7am. Dan and i won! Over 20 bucks each, but we played for the kick of it, so no money was involved la hahaha. After a little wash up Bryan and i took a cab down to work le..

Wow the moment we finished our Mac breakfast, Zzz.. So sleepy! It was only 8am we were like wonderin 'how on earth are we suppose to survive till 5pm!!' The feelin is very high lor, eyes red and watery, starrin at the comp dunno what to surf also. Nearly dozed off a couple of times, immediately knock out durin my 1 hour lunch break lor. Whole day the customers who called in can hear me mumblin la, really really no energy to entertain them at all..

Seriously wished i can head home straight after work la.. But we all agreed to have a game of badminton that evenin! So i went all the way to Jurong and meet up with Dan and company again. I'm the lousiest among us la, even the girls can bully me de. After 3 hours of the game, you can see me dyin already. I didn't really play much la, but ya, tired enough..

After the game Bryan, Qiong and i went Mac for dinner, and we finally head home after that. Was already midnight by the time i reached home la. Had a quick shower, settled my stuff, already 1am+.. As soon i hit my bed, fwah.. Zzz.. K.O Game Over..

Just now woke up with a cramp on my right leg la.. So pain! What a nice way to start my day. Not enough sleep! Am goner head to work soon.. Roar..

Ciao.

Was shoppin with a friend and we were havin a great time together. Even had Ktv and was havin so much fun. Just before we were bout to head home, there is this little boy who suddenly hugged my leg. Omgosh i swear to God he's so cute! We played with him for awhile, and oh my he loved us so much.

Soon we realised he's actually lost, his parents nowhere to be seen. Brought him to information counter, but nobody came! We were so panicked then, no idea what to do with him sia. In the end we brought him to make a police report, and decided to take him in until his parents come.

Oh my, my mom was so amused at the sight of him la. Furthermore she didn't see my friend before at all, so it was like me suddenly bringing home a woman and a kid! SO FUNNY i tell you. Had a pretty hard time explainin everything. But he's sooooo cute my mom loved him to bits! Soon after he settled down, i send my friend home..

The next day we were out shoppin again! This time we were buying all the babies stuff! Hahaha its so fun la, buyin all the clothes, diapers, toys, etc etc etc! Bwhahahah so fun la. So unforgetable..

Weeks passed but still no news from the parents, we were actually gettin pretty worried. Months passed, and we were gettin so used to boyboy already. The police did tell us his actual name, but i had forgotten already. His parents seems to have fled from Singapore, unable to locate them at all. And finally, we were given a choice to adopt him, or send him to the orphanage..

We were already too attached to him la. Out of spur i even taught him to call me Daddy, and he really did! He even called my friend Mommy, and ya, by then we were already together.. This little boy seems to be like the string of fate between us.. We dont wish to lose him at all..

So we decided to adopt him! We named him Xander 杨天乐! We did all the necessary legal procedures, and he officially became our adopted son! Oh my how blissful things were? I felt so 幸福 can! There was this darlin wife whom we were so loving everyday seems to be like honeymoon. There was cute little 天乐 brought to us by fate whom we love to bits. There was my lovin mom who understands every single thing. What else can i ask for..

Suddenly i heard 徐婕儿 - 我可以忍受 playin on my handphone la. I was lyin on my bed, blanket on the floor, bolster tightly held in my arms. I woke up smilin. WAH LAO..

日有所思，夜有所梦？

(PS: i didn't dream of my father.. but brother was married and stayin elsewhere..)

Realised i havent been bloggin for almost 10 days. Have been busy. Nothing much, just work, bowlin, ktv, mahjong, movies, dinner, shoppin, camp, friends, buddies, meetings, and stuff..

KaiLi is going Bintan in a few hours' time! Oh my i goner miss her.. Pray her fever will be long gone before she can even board the ferry later.. Takecare!! >.<

My colleagues are a bunch of crazy folks. I'm only a few weeks old @ my workplace but we're already so mixed and fun together. Omgosh so many of them are good singers, makes me feel so tiny @ ktv hahaha. Just had mahjong awhile ago, and unlucky me lost to all 3.. Geez..

Am headin to a funeral tomorrow morning, colleague's dad suddenly passed away. That night we were still smilin and laughin, even wanted to go Dbl-O but i pulled out in the end. Who knows the very next day this would happen..

Life is so fragile can? Few mornins back i was smsin my friend bout this lady who met mishap at the junction near my place. Were on my way to work and the next thing i realised was her lyin on the road. Few of us helped out ursherin the cars away, while the driver was checkin on her until the ambulance came. Its quite sad how SO MANY people can look mercilessly @ us like monkeys in the zoo. Never help never mind, why keep starin? What, are we puttin up a performance or somethin? Cb.. Really made me feel like scoldin vulgar..

Seriously.. 人生短短几十年..
没有人会知道自己几时走..
要就珍惜现在.. 想做得就去做..
不要再浪费自己的生命和时间..
如果经历一点挫折就放弃..
吃了一点苦头就自暴自弃..
那就去死好了没人会理你..
更凄惨的人多的是..
想活下来的人多的是..
你活着简直是浪费..

Hahahaha ok maybe i'm too harsh with that. But it hurts to see friends giving up life so easily. Especially when the hiccups they had are such mediocre stuff compared to so many. They love to complain bout how bad things are. Once or twice is still alright, but endless whining and yet not doing anything bout it, what good can it bring? It really get on my nerves some times..

I may sound depressed at times, always talkin bout sad stuff, but that is me. I love sad songs. I watch sad shows. You can say its a god damn sick fetish. But at least i'm never a person who can't move on. I dont brood over spilled milk. So those who never seem to understand this part of me at all, maybe now you'll catch a glimpse..

It really aches my heart seein dear friends drownin in sorrow. They're like birds who hurted their wings, though healed, yet not wantin to soar the sky anymore. Please, you won't wanna get stuck on the ground for the rest of your life. You won't wanna starve to death. Fly, and there'll be freedom and life on the other skies. And you'll never be alone, we'll all be flyin side by side..

4am soon, i better have my rest.

Ciao.

Someone used to tell me..
There's a song i can sing to her..
And the lyrics will sing out my feelings..

静静地 静静看你熟睡的身影
请相信 这是我一生最难的决定
不曾说过 有一天会离开你
你一直以为我还是你的

留给你 留给你最后一封信
从今后 我要好好的想想我自己
为你付出的从不说可惜
现在的我 有一颗平静的心

我爱你 虽然我已经放弃
我爱你 伤心不能再继续
我爱你 虽然心已经远离
我爱你 豈只一句话就说得清

要不是你学不会去珍惜
又怎么会是这样的一个结局
我真的真的不怨你
因为这是我自己 自己的决定

感觉早在两年前的意外后，宣布死亡..

但其实，在意外之前的一切，都是美好的回忆。那五年的岁月，除了充满了快乐的时光，也让我学习了什么是感觉、什么是爱。简直就是人生中最快乐的日子。但世事往往残酷无情..

一个人，不是懂得珍惜，就不会失去。
同样的，不是懂得爱情，就能一直继续下去。

今天的我，不是害怕失去，也不怕不能继续。而是感觉死去，一切变得僵硬。几次明明碰上了，却当做没一回事。直到身边一个个幸福了，才觉得自己很笨，一直支持她们而忽略了快乐..

但是，也许我并不是怕爱，只是宁愿等待..

.
.
.

“你开心就好”
这五个字真的很深奥..
你知道吗？

Life is easy, life is hard.
Time is short, time is fast.
Relationships are simple, yet are not.

In life things you cherish doesnt mean it wont leave you, things you love the most doesnt mean you wont lose it. But in life one thing about the beauty of it is to learn to give your best, so when looking back you wont say "I wish i had done better, I've made a mistake."

We learn through relationship, we learn through hurting the ones we love most. We know its wrong yet emotions got the better of us, but admitting whats wrong and loving each other more is whats more important.

Things broken can be mended, but will never be the same pieces again. There are still times when you must learn how to let go and move on. Cause spinning around and around, hanging here and there, though you might not choose to believe in the fact, it still doesnt get you anywhere.

Just believe in what you choose, who you love, be who you wanna be, and love the ones who loves you. There are nights that makes you feel lonely and wanting company, having only the dark sky to gaze endlessly upon. But when the sun rises, warmth brings hope and makes us feel happy and a new day begins again.

Anyway, who says being human is easy in the first place.

Ciao.

Was so happy but tired last night..zonked out before I can even think of blogging =P

Met an old pal for bball in the noon. Wow 6 years of not playing is really taxing lor? Feel so old already, lazy to jump lazy to run. Still won the other kids la, though some are taller than me -.- but our madness sec school training last time is uncomparable LOL..

Sec school friends threw a party for me @ CCK Kbox that night. Had fun singing and laughing together, made lotsa noise and jokes. Initially was quite sad, because there's this person I admire, told me she couldn't make it to the party. But then halfway through she suddenly appeared right in front of my very eyes! Even brought along a cake with her. Was so dumbfounded la, my expression should be quite funny that moment. Thanks to CK too, they both planned it beforehand. Really sweet surprise..Thanks =]

Many friends think she has a temper, very 'fierce'. But to me she was never angry, its just a way she express herself. She may look hard on the outside, but deep inside, I know she's just as delicate as most of us. Someone with lotsa feelings..















My birthday cake! 1 candle only because someone say too old no need so many -.-"

Good things don't usually come alone.

Got home around 2am. Was trying to find my remote control for the lights in my room, then I saw this very HUGE white postage on my desk! The very 1st person that came into my mind, was her. I'm so happy, she surprised me once again..















The BIG BIG postage =D















Can see the words? =P















There's always a postcard in each surprise she gives.















Not many knows my favorite sweet..but she knows =]















Last but not least..















She bought me a wallet..

I am really very happy to see her present. Though I told Alison birthdays aren't bout presents, but seeing all these made my day even better. Even my brother bought me a cordless phone for my room. Bwhahahhaa. Maybe its still bout presents after all LOL =P
















My new cordless phone!

I'm really blessed to have so many sweet nice and caring people around me. I had a really meaningful 23rd birthday. Thanks for all the wishes and gifts. Thanks for everything.

Ciao.

And so the day arrived..

Was out the whole day, tiring. Went for an interview at StarHub, 99% sure I'll be selected. Though the interviewer made me wait for more than 30mins, she did give me a pleasant time. I shot her with lotsa questions, got even. Haha..

Good pal CK came to town specially for me, was quite touched. So we had dinner, walked around PS a little, and I accompanied him home. After dropping him off at Jurong, I went to meet Xx at Bishan for movie. Long long journey..

Just My Luck. Damn sweet show can? Its pretty funny too, and you can really learn how unlucky a person can be. So be glad ya, though without ample of good luck, at least you dont get bad luck all the time..

The clock struck 12 when I was on the bus home. Just sent Xx home, so was taking a journey back home alone, and it was pouring. Quite funny, no feelings this year. Its like any other day, nothing special, nothing new. Some nice friends remembered and called or smsed, really glad to have them around. Maybe its such days that we'll realise who's really nice and who's not? Haha nvm just kidding..

Whats so special bout birthdays anyway. Everyone else go around celebrating it with their friends or gfs. I don't really care, except for the time when min, inin or others will celebrate for me. But I do like surprises though, love how they can surprise me every single time..

I still feel birthdays is important in another way. Its the day I'm born, thats right. But its also the day mom suffered to bring me to life. So I dedicate today to my mom, for bringing me to this world, and bringing me up all these tiring 23 years. Thanks mommy..

Maybe I'm sad.. Sad at the fact the person I hoping to remember, didn't..

Ciao.

First of all..

Thanks for all the concerns bout mom. She's feeling much better now, today is the last day of her MC, and she'll be free from work until coming Sunday. Thank goodness..

This early noon, there was this damn BIG bee flying around in my room. It scared the highlights out of me la, appeared right in my face, nearly fell from my chair. Thought I chased it out with my pillow and I closed all my windows. But who knows this evening when I tried putting on my berms, I got freaking shocked! Lotsa soil, and 4 crawling green yucky worms!

Mom said its the bee's hive. I just wore the berms yesterday, and the windows were closed all the time till this noon. So I assumed it had worked very fast, building up the nest while my windows were still open. It must have been so sad when I closed the windows, seperating it from its hive.

Yesterday I travelled all the way down from Sembawang to SengKang, just to have a late late lunch. And the reward: Someone made me Oreo cheesecake! So happy! Favorite! =D

Time really flies.. So fast.. Friday coming soon..

Ciao.

This morning I woke up and saw my mom lying on her bed. My 1st thought was "Shit.."

She's supposed to be working on Sundays. Seeing her at home meaning something is very wrong. Its all my fault, she contracted the same illness from me..

Luckily the doctor didn't mention anything serious, only given her flu tabs, cough syrup and lousy lozenges. The MCs should do her good, giving her a few days of rest from work..

If only I had not been stubborn and visit the doc earlier..

Everytime a pal breaks up with his gf, there will be a good chance of me losing him as a friend. Because sometimes their gfs will call and confide in me instead.

Those pals of mine have either dumped them for another woman, or simply saying the cruel 'no more feelings' verdict. When they called me and I got to learn about it, I felt so ashamed of those pals. Argued with a few, lost contact with the rest. But what I gained was priceless la, right?

No idea why, but such things have been happening to me all these years. And thanks to that, I have a few understanding good buddies whom I can chat heart to heart today. Now, who says a guy and girl cannot have pure friendship? =P

Maybe I make a better buddy to confide in, than a good bf to be with. Sophia says so.

Anyway Spain won 4-0, owning match, YEAH.

I'm still coughing away, goner cough my lungs out someday.

Ciao.

I'd just finished chatting with one of my primary school friend. We weren't close at all during the 6 years in class, and weren't close at all even till today. Yet it feels so happy to chat about the good old times and having all the sweet memories coming back..

She used to stay a few blocks away from me. Surprisingly she's still able to recall seeing my mom fetching me home, though I started going home alone most of the time ever since primary 2. There's also this mama shop below my place, all 3 owners love me to bits. Used to play around the void deck with my buddies too, it was so much fun..

I was in EM1, but honestly my grades aren't something to be proud of. All I did was had fun, and mom was too busy to check on me. Thanks to my father, she has to work all the time. So a bad student like me who didn't study deserves one of the lowest scores in class. PSLE was only 229..

Heard alot about my former classmates. Medical schools, dentist, lawyers, all the high flyers. I'm not surprised. So many of my classmates went to schools like RV, Chinese High, Raffles Int. Sometimes I wonder if I'm supposed to be like them too. Obviously not, right?

1 of my classmates passed away. If you're thinking dying at the age of 23 is sad, think again. He passed away after O's. The worst part is I only get to know about it today. He was one of the brainy kids, I still remember he had 260+ for PSLE. Heard he did damn well for O's as well. So sad he had to leave us so early..

Enough of childhood.
I'm still sick and feverish.
Should be resting soon, blood shot eyes..

Ciao.

Can somebody please tell me the definition of a FRIEND?

Doesn't it vex you when you keep getting rejected or stood up? I really hate it when I tried getting them out, yet each and every single time they'll have fabulous reasons to say sorry. Worse, some simply tells you they're busy. Handling big business? Or school's so super loaded with assignments? Till the extent they can enjoy and have fun, yet unable to spare a few hours just to catch up?

For goodness sake, I did my part, I made the effort to ask. Time and time again I got disappointed, time and time again I tolerated. But what is this, my own wrong doing?

IF you made a promise to go out, MAKE SURE you do so. I seriously hate broken promises.

IF you don't wish to hang out with me in the 1st place, let me know. I'm very sure I'll NEVER bother you again.

Lets not waste each other's time and efforts.
You know who you are.
In fact there's a few.

Those who knows me will understand I do care for all my friends. If there's troubles I'll help. At times I'll send a simple 'takecare' sms. Meeting up and catching up is something I enjoy. I'm really glad most of you appreciates what I do. Thank you.

Sometimes it really shows who are the real pals who will stay by my side, and who's totally not worth the trouble.

PISSED.

When Chiuji first met Kyoko, she was already wheelchair bounded. Even though they grew to understand and love one another, but obstacles still stand in their way. Dating is restricted by steps and stairs, even family members discourage their relationship. However even though things weren’t smooth sailing, that didn't stop them from staying together..

It really takes a lot of courage to have an handicapped love..

Kyoko’s handicap wasn’t cause by accident, but by an illness. She spent years working and fulfilling her life, while waiting for her illness to get cured or worse. Especially after meeting Chiuji, her will to stay alive is at its strongest. However, reality often show us its cruel side..

When things got worse and Chiuji learnt about Kyoko’s limited time, he didn’t run away. He gave up his dreams, just to stay beside. He even chose to end his life if she was to end. Spending every last second they had, they made lotsa wonderful memories together. Right until the very end..

“You must live on..on my behalf..sorry for everything till now..thank you..” was what she last said. He didn’t cry. All he did was looking at her happy face. Her tears were still warm. That was her very last smile..

At the funeral, he volunteered to put make up on her. Her favorite face powder, lipstick, he carefully put them on, trying to make her beautiful again. He even combed her hair, like the time when she first stepped into his salon..

“Kyoko..why are you so cold..”
“Don’t ignore me..say something..”
“Smile..I made you look so beautiful..at least smile for me..”

He finally broke down and cried..

In the end, he fulfilled their shared dream. A little salon house by the seaside. On the walls are all their memories in photos, and in the house kept her favourite couch, her wheelchair, her pair of favourite high heels from him, and the little love ornament from her..

I wonder how much pain it feels to lose someone..
I wonder how much strength it takes to hold back the tears..
I wonder if I ever have the courage to face my love..and put on makeup for her..

It is really very sad to lose someone. Though people always stupidly say “Aiya com’on lah this is just a freaking fictional drama”, but how many will realise such shows are actually part of the reality and life? Must is always be the last moment, when they are on the verge of losing their love ones, then they will become so regretful, thinking how stupid they were not to cherish?

Its time to wake up.. If you're still dreaming away..

Anyway, Korean dramas are real time wasters with similar plots and absurd stories. Taiwan dramas only show you the sweetest stuff with the cutest girls and the smartest boys. But Japanese dramas always contain so much meanings and feelings in life..

Very obvious what my favorite type of drama is.

Typed too much for tonight I guess.

Ciao.

Was out with Airisi today, haven't met her for ages.

Have been on the phone with her recently, had fun and laughter. So we decided to meet up for shopping since it was her day off. At first we went Suntec, hunting her watches and handicraft stuff, but couldn't find any. We had lunch @ Marche, sambal stingray and softshell crab! But it was only like the 2nd time I ate there, quite pathetic isn't it?

After lunch we went Bugis, and she bought the watch for $185. Quite a birthday gift for some guy I must say, but she kept refusing the idea of her liking him whenever I tried poking my nose around. Oh well..

Later on we ended up @ Orchard, walking around trying to do some shopping. But my shopping mood was so bad today, I couldn't find anything that suits my taste. Seems to me she doesn't like to have someone to shop with her as well, saying its weird I kept following her while she's looking at her stuff. Anyway I think things ended up pretty badly and we splited in the end, she going home via cab, while I walked to the MRT alone..

Perhaps we just don't click when it comes to shopping. Felt so sorry dragging her around aimlessly, it must have been rather boring. Its like so weird that nothing comes to my brain today, she have to keep deciding places to go and stuff. Doubt she'll go shopping with me again. Failed badly..

The same scenario actually happened days before too. Was out for beer and lunch @ Brewerks with a few army pals. In the beginning we had fun eating and chatting and drinking. But when lunch ended, you see 4 big man walking around aimlessly in town, trying to find things to do. Ended up heading home at the end too. It was like SO BORING..

Is it me or..?

Anyway I realised there are many places I have not been to before. Even town area looks so unfamiliar at times. Have I stayed home too much? Honestly my circle of friends have been shrinking at a pretty fast pace ever since army days. Think its time for me to get friendly again? Going out with her today really enlightened me quite abit..

So, who wanna date me out nowadays?
Hint: I wanna watch She's The Man.

Ciao.

Last night was such a disappointment..

Even though it was hot. Even though the food sucks. Even though it was so cramp. At least the sight of my old friends was worth all the troubles. But, how come only 8 of us showed up?

Supposed to have a few more, have no idea why they didn't turn up in the end. Shy to meet their fellow classmates after 7 years? Or just simply couldn't be bothered? I'm not too sure. But I'm just very disappointed..

Supposed to take lotsa photos, but took none with my phone in the end. Had a few shots with teachers and friends though, with their cameras. Hopefully I'll get to see them..

Felt so lost at home last night, moodswing. Maybe because of too many sad things and disappointments recently. Went crazy and took 2 pics of myself. YES, I took photos of myself. Unbelievable isn't it? Sun goner rise from another side. But ya, here they are.





























2nd pic look silly. But who cares.

Introduced a few friends to watch '1 Litre of Tears' recently. I'm glad they get to watch it, because I feel it will be a good lesson in life. Cherish, determination, family, love. Ofcourse, not all humans have feelings. Some people tend to watch it with emotions, while some simply laugh at jokes, wonder about the plot, but never think of the meanings. Watch for the sake of watching huh..

I dare say those who didn't feel any touched, emotional, or learnt any meanings from the show, they are not any close to understanding me at all..

But who cares really..

Ciao.